THIS IS AMAZING

This, dear childrens, is why we don’t go near downed power lines, and always call 911 (or equivalent) instead.

He really asked “is somebody going to parent this little thing?” and didn’t wait for an answer

“You are filthy, new child. Let me show you the ways of our people.”

Biggest failing of the internet is that in order to be vibing with my friends I have to actually be talking to them. I socialize like a cat I just show affection by sitting next to you. Ily but sometimes I have Nothing to say. Not a damn thing going on in my head

I don't want to "have" a "conversation" I want to peel an orange and share it with you

@busbug

y’all, i feel like i need to remind y’all that there’s a huge difference between ignoring what’s going on, and taking a mental break because you’re exhausted with trying to keep up with the situation in the country right now. this shit is no joke and is weighing incredibly heavy on people such as myself and if you need to take a break from this and just log out, please do. please take care of yourself and don’t feel bad that you’re not keeping up with things at every second of the day.

my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

“everyone knows those quiet girls. the ones who never say anything at school unless a teacher makes them. the ones who you see every day but don’t know what they sound like when they laugh. lindsey is not one of those girls, but the teacher wishes she was.”

These are all amazing.