lucky is she who lives unaware.

pausing mid thrust to open tumblr.com to delete the celibacy gif I reblogged 2 weeks ago

Why are they in Hell

because if you have sex you will die and go to hell

Commenting "may this type of love never find me" under your high school classmates engagement photos

it IS monday. Let's get it on cunts

it IS tuesday. We still must get it on cunts

it IS wednesday. cunts you know what we must do. it's time to get it on

it IS thursday. cunts, just a little longer. we must get it on.

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

ok computer show me men in pain

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

fuck everything. whats the media people ASSUME youre into. what are people surprised that you havent watched/played/whatever

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"