• 🌼 •

it's because you're always in that damn coffin

I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual

It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders. 

“I cast Iron Gate!”

As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids

baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards

absolutely excellent top-notch thought here, but now you've got me wondering what's trying to eat them

Perhaps the shininess also makes them more endearing to adult dragons, increasing the likelihood of adoption if something happens to mama.

maybe dragons collect hoards to camouflage their babies

I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

oh god i just realized ive been posting on corporeal tumblr this whole time 🤦

Oh! I thought you just lost your login and decided to just stay on corporeal instead.

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor

does getting cursed by a witch show up in drug tests

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

!!!!!!

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.

idk. personally I just think it's wild that a woman most famous for being the first woman to play in an NHL game has chosen to support the career of a proud advocate against trans women in women's sports. like, the whole "biological advantage" nonsense argument is entirely dependent on the idea that cisgender men are inherently better at sports than cisgender women. is that not the very idea you set out to disprove, manon? didn't you successfully disprove it over and over, playing in boys leagues and being just as good, if not better than them? what the fuck are we doing here if not showing that your assigned sex at birth doesn't determine your ability to play hockey? what the fuck ever. this sucks.

Oh. Shit.

God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.

"what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins" is honestly the thing I needed to hear today