wouldn't ever wake

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

it's crazy how many super duper patriarchal things get retroactively justified in the name of being about love. yeah I'm sure women taking their husbands surname has always 100% been about recovering from trauma and distancing yourself from abusive family or whatever and has absolutely nothing at all to do with women being seen as property. great work here everyone, marriage as a concept has been redeemed through the power of pop psychology

@animals-with-fan-art

can I push on your drunk bladder until you pee yourself

my buddy brings her angel girlfriend to the function, I spend the whole time refusing to look at or even acknowledge her existence, because I am a staunch atheist and dont believe in that nonsense. she starts to throw things at my head to get my attention and between volleys of marbles and kitchen utensils I grunt "swamp gas. aurora borealis. probably a weather balloon.youre seeing things"

another day, I greet my friend at the door, I look over her shoulder and raise an eyebrow, "I see you've brought the electromagnetic phenomena again,"

before there were blorbos there were little meow meows and before there were little meow meows there were cinnamon rolls

oh my god. most of life really is about the little things. a good haircut, a nice playlist, trying a new recipe that turns out well, a poem that hits home, a comfortable spot in the sun, spontaneous messages, a pen you enjoy writing with, tea with the right temperature to drink, buying that thing you’ve been eyeing for a while, a warm bed. yeah im so grateful for the small joys