04.08.22 - Entry 7
Iāve had A LOT going on since my last entry. So Iāll fill you in on everything Iāve done regarding what I talked about last time.
I went to the casting...it went ok. Iām interested in still working with the company and enjoy shooting with them but itās not really my style anymore. I just donāt know think I want modeling to become anything more than a hobby.Ā
We did not get the house. The foundation issues were actually pretty awful and we were worried fixing them would ruin the house even more. We did put an offer in on another beautiful home that is so perfect and in the perfect location...but we aren't expecting to get it either. Itās so sad because itās the perfect mix of vintage and modern, itās not too big, itās got amazing character and a great yard, itās right on the water, and itāsĀ a 2 min walk from downtown. It hurts my heart. But I can only imagine itās for some reason Iāll be able to see in the future, orĀ may never know about. So the house hunt continues.Ā
I did a little try-out for a new job. Iām not sure how I feel about it. The owner is super particular about how things need to be done, which I understand since itās their company, but it can be really frustrating. On the other hand I feel I can learn a lot about owning and running a business from them, plus social media managing can help me run my own business page. I think the deal breaker will come with figuring out how flexible the hours are. Would it be possible for me to take the day off if I get a sudden call for a job? I like flexible jobs, even if they're menial, because it helps me make time for my own business.
I feel like Iām stagnant right now. Nothingās changing yet, but things are threatening to change. I guess threatening isnāt the right word. Iām not scared of change, I just hate the adaptation process because sometimes it can take really long. Iām ready to just have my own business but Iāve been slacking on it for so long, and I really donāt feel like I do much when it comes to progressing my skills. I guess itās just hard being the only person I know, in a 20 mile radius, who does videography. Itās easy to find people, but I have a hard time connecting with them. I just get nervous when it comes to talking to others on the topic because I donāt really know much past the basics. It really is time for me to get a mentor, but I feel embarrassed about that (when I know I shouldnāt because there really isn't a problem with being ignorant if youāre willing to learn). How do I fix that? Is it an ego thing?
Anyways, I havenāt felt like journaling lately. I donāt feel like anything worth talking about has been happening. Which is fine. I only really journal when I have a thought or emotion bugging me for too long and need to find the words to explain/express it so it can go away.













