some sort of love poem
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@newtokyolo
some sort of love poem

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Cliff training shane in eating ilyas pussy while railing him, eh?
*Steps up to the podium like a conductor at an orchestra and taps my stupid little stick on it*
So the nice thing about being pregnant is how horny ilya always is. And how sensitive everything is. So shane doesn’t HAVE to get a good grade in pussy eating - but this is Shane hollander we’re talking about. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
So he asks Cliff for a demonstration first, which Cliff is happy to provide and Ilya is thrilled to receive. Shows Shane how to tug the lips apart with his fingers and make the clit stand out so he can nudge it with the very tip of his tongue, how to purse his lips around it and suck until Ilya’s head falls back with an appreciative moan. How to lick broad stripes up and down through the folds, flicking at the top, and when Ilya’s good and wet and hot for him, how to ease two fingers inside and crook them just so, pressing up toward his pelvic bone, and how to gradually work up speed and pressure. When it’s Shane’s turn to show what he’s learned, Cliff talks him through it, instruction delivered in his trademark deep, seductive cadence, his voice pulling both shane and ilya into a kind of trance:
Don’t forget to keep sucking, Hollzy - there it is. Good boy. Mouth and hand both need to be in constant motion. Very good. Push in deeper. Yeah, right there. Faster, now. You can be a little rough. Not to much. Yeah, like that. Feel how tight he’s getting around your fingers? How wet he is? He’s about to come - aren’t you baby? Oh good, just like that - yesss, great job Hollzy. No, don’t stop, just slow down. Work him through it. I know, Rozy, I know, just ride it out babe. There. Okay, you can stop know. Pull out nice and slow. Now look at that. Ain’t that a pretty picture? Makes you wanna eat it up all over again.
Until they’re able to do it while Shane takes it from Cliff, both of them pushing him and pushing him to maintain focus on Ilya while Cliff’s fucking into him harder and harder. He’s not allowed to come before Ilya. So he better do a good fucking job, because Cliff ain’t about to go easy on him.
i once read a fic in a different fandom where a character got a pussy every year around their birthday and they were like "yeah thats just my birthday pussy". I think ilya would kill at the nonchalant birthday pussy vibes, while shane would experience birthday pussy shame
tongue in cheek art about weird bodies and waiting for a diagnosis
You know in onegaverse people have scents , a littles are known au where like when regressing littles have a sort of milky / sweet scent that serve to ( like evolutionary) alert caregivers that hey little currently in the process of dropping
And like caregivers when near a distressed little having a soothing smell
I think Ilya would hate the milky smell of little dripping because it's snitching on him , also verryyy sensitive nose most caregivers smell overpower his nose like bad perfume except (you guessed it ) shane
Ohh yes I’ve read this concept before in a few littles are known fics, I think this would be really interesting! I think you’re vvv right Ilya would hate that his scent is like betraying him, especially if he’s insisting that he’s fine, he’s not dropping, he isn’t due for a drop, etc, but then his scent kinda goes against what he’s saying…I can see him going to great lengths to try and conceal that, especially with his upbringing and the focus on image/reputation, maybe like scent blockers of some kind? Either way v good angst potential…
Aw and ofc Shane’s scent is soothing/not so overpowering <3 A part of me wonders if that would almost be slightly psychological too, like Ilya associates Shane with comfort and is one of the only people he trusts to care for him while dropped, so Shane’s scent is still kinda intense like other cgs but not in an intrusive/bad/frustrating way, but in a nice, comforting way…hm…
Pheromones... I am a pheromones lover at heart.... Ilya wears scent blockers (pretty standard in professional environments anyway) but for him he doesn't want his scent to give away how small he is.... he knows his scent is all sweet and milky and anyone who picks up on it would instantly know he's fighting dropping teeny tiny..... and then his scent also gets sour bcs he's fighting it/whenever he's upset and if anyone noticed it they would instantly step in bcs it just projects to everyone around him that a tiny baby is in distress and no one in their right mind would ignore that so he has to keep it covered up 24/7
Also headcanon for scents that the gland is quite sensitive and wearing blocking patches over it too much does actually cause a bunch of irritation so if ilya ever got caught without a block patch on by someone theyd also see his neck is rlly red and sore.... which is just more reason to him to keep it covered at all times
Once Shane is taking care of Ilya more he's very insistent that Ilya leave his gland uncovered the entire time (if it gets any worse Shane is gonna have to take him to a doctor about it so even though ilya hates the idea of his scent being exposed at all times for the entire two weeks they're at the cottage he doesn't want to see a little doctor even more)
Shane sits with Ilya laying in his lap and gently massages cream into his scent glands to soothe them and release the backed up pheromones - it's kind of painful to start with but then feels much better, but it also makes Ilya constantly smell like super distressed baby all the time as it heals, which in turn sets of Shane's instincts to release soothing caregiver pheromones, which makes Ilya feel actually very baby

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i want an au fic where yuna and david are obsessed with "the sweet russian boy from the farmer's market". none of this "there were no nice men in montreal?" or "i thought you hated him" bullshit. no no. yuna and david think ilya shits roses and rainbows. they think ilya is the second coming of jesus. shane is so sick of this bullshit. shane thinks it's some rando who is trying to scam his parents. shane thinks this dude is weird for spending so much time with a couple in their 50s. shane gets competitive. and then shane comes out to his parents and since then, they've been shamelessly trying to set them up (lowkey tried to set them up when shane was straight too, but that's a different thing), and shane is not having it, thank you very much. ilya, who has seen the entire album 'shanebug' on david hollander's phone is disgustingly in love with the pretty boy with freckles who apparently hates him for some reason. shane will rather die than date this asshole who is trying to steal his parents. then shane sees the pic yuna posts on her instagram and ohhhhh that's what ilya rozanov looks like and now he has to pretend like he still hates ilya lest everyone involved finds out that shane is a slut for gorgeous russian men with perfect curls and pretty moles and beefy arms.
1/2
Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)
But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.
And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.
And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"
Ilya with the loon tattoo finally coloured!!! To go with myShane and the sketch versions here and here!!!
I have an idea for a 3rd piece in this series but!!!! We'll see
Finally coloured him!!!!!!! Shane with a lily tattoo my beloved!!!! Gonna colour myIlya too next!!!

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Shane: Sit down, i'm gonna torture you now
Ilya, smirking: Kinky.
Shane: I think you're sweet and beautiful.
Ilya: What-
Shane: You deserve to be cared for.
Ilya: Stop, now-
Shane: Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard.
Ilya: I NEED A SAFE WORD!!!
yuna: how long have you two been dating?
ilya: uh. like. one spoonful of pasta ago. you were there. we have been fucking for like a decade tho
smth smth smth, ilya regressing due to the stress of shane being in the hospital and hayden being forced to care for him
I think ilya n cliff have that sort of odd bro relationship where cliff has an innate understanding of ilya's depression n self destructive tendencies n has directly intervened but in a distinctively 'frat bro' way. cliff's intervention sounded a lot less 'maybe you should get some help' n a lot more 'hey man seems like that rocket you're always texting has got you all kinds of fucked up. how about we table the shots n get a fucking beer about it huh'. to this day ilya credits that man with playing a serious part in his not Fully Fucking Losing It during the hookup years

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maybe my perception is skewed from being raised in a country where homophobic sentiment is so intrinsically entwined with misogyny dating back to ancient rome but i don’t think the voyageurs would have reacted so harshly at shane’s relationship with a rival if it had been anyone else, even someone from the toronto team. but its ilya rozanov. 6’3” (in the book), wall of a man, brash, dominant, hide-your-girlfriend manwhore extraordinaire ilya rozanov. and this discovery ties into any anti-asian bias that might’ve been bubbling below the surface—and immediately they identify shane as the ‘woman’ in the relationship. it’s not that shane is fucking rozanov; it’s that rozanov is fucking shane. they can’t see it any other way. doesn’t matter that it’s technically correct—shane’s sexual preference is clear—its their outlook at the dynamic that its fundamentally rotten. rozanov is bulkier and likes women, so he must fucking shane, and that’s humiliating, because women are subservient and submissive and they can only take it, and so, shane, did you trip on purpose? it’s the second-hand humiliation they can’t bear. it’s their captain and it’s the one spreading himself open. if rozanov is fucking shane then he’s fucking all of them and they can’t fucking allow that.
as a segue, and this may be an unpopular opinion, maybe, but part of shane's internalised homophobia probably comes from having internalised this misogynistic attitude towards bottoming, i.e. being a pro athlete in a high stakes, adrenalinic, 'macho' sport cannot coexist with being the 'woman' in a gay sexual dynamic and the latter undermines his whole identity and sense of who he is.
I genuinely believe in an omegaverse situation Ilya would be DYING to have Shane's babies. once he locks that man down he's taking a year long break from hockey to be doted on and pampered and he'll love every second of it. he'd go to games wearing a Hollander jersey and he'd be a WAG like it's his full time job. then after labor and paternity leave they both get back on the ice and they'd win another cup just to have a picture of their most precious little baby sitting in it. amen