i once read a fic in a different fandom where a character got a pussy every year around their birthday and they were like "yeah thats just my birthday pussy". I think ilya would kill at the nonchalant birthday pussy vibes, while shane would experience birthday pussy shame

i want an au fic where yuna and david are obsessed with "the sweet russian boy from the farmer's market". none of this "there were no nice men in montreal?" or "i thought you hated him" bullshit. no no. yuna and david think ilya shits roses and rainbows. they think ilya is the second coming of jesus. shane is so sick of this bullshit. shane thinks it's some rando who is trying to scam his parents. shane thinks this dude is weird for spending so much time with a couple in their 50s. shane gets competitive. and then shane comes out to his parents and since then, they've been shamelessly trying to set them up (lowkey tried to set them up when shane was straight too, but that's a different thing), and shane is not having it, thank you very much. ilya, who has seen the entire album 'shanebug' on david hollander's phone is disgustingly in love with the pretty boy with freckles who apparently hates him for some reason. shane will rather die than date this asshole who is trying to steal his parents. then shane sees the pic yuna posts on her instagram and ohhhhh that's what ilya rozanov looks like and now he has to pretend like he still hates ilya lest everyone involved finds out that shane is a slut for gorgeous russian men with perfect curls and pretty moles and beefy arms.

smth smth smth, ilya regressing due to the stress of shane being in the hospital and hayden being forced to care for him

I think ilya n cliff have that sort of odd bro relationship where cliff has an innate understanding of ilya's depression n self destructive tendencies n has directly intervened but in a distinctively 'frat bro' way. cliff's intervention sounded a lot less 'maybe you should get some help' n a lot more 'hey man seems like that rocket you're always texting has got you all kinds of fucked up. how about we table the shots n get a fucking beer about it huh'. to this day ilya credits that man with playing a serious part in his not Fully Fucking Losing It during the hookup years

maybe my perception is skewed from being raised in a country where homophobic sentiment is so intrinsically entwined with misogyny dating back to ancient rome but i don’t think the voyageurs would have reacted so harshly at shane’s relationship with a rival if it had been anyone else, even someone from the toronto team. but its ilya rozanov. 6’3” (in the book), wall of a man, brash, dominant, hide-your-girlfriend manwhore extraordinaire ilya rozanov. and this discovery ties into any anti-asian bias that might’ve been bubbling below the surface—and immediately they identify shane as the ‘woman’ in the relationship. it’s not that shane is fucking rozanov; it’s that rozanov is fucking shane. they can’t see it any other way. doesn’t matter that it’s technically correct—shane’s sexual preference is clear—its their outlook at the dynamic that its fundamentally rotten. rozanov is bulkier and likes women, so he must fucking shane, and that’s humiliating, because women are subservient and submissive and they can only take it, and so, shane, did you trip on purpose? it’s the second-hand humiliation they can’t bear. it’s their captain and it’s the one spreading himself open. if rozanov is fucking shane then he’s fucking all of them and they can’t fucking allow that.

as a segue, and this may be an unpopular opinion, maybe, but part of shane's internalised homophobia probably comes from having internalised this misogynistic attitude towards bottoming, i.e. being a pro athlete in a high stakes, adrenalinic, 'macho' sport cannot coexist with being the 'woman' in a gay sexual dynamic and the latter undermines his whole identity and sense of who he is.

I genuinely believe in an omegaverse situation Ilya would be DYING to have Shane's babies. once he locks that man down he's taking a year long break from hockey to be doted on and pampered and he'll love every second of it. he'd go to games wearing a Hollander jersey and he'd be a WAG like it's his full time job. then after labor and paternity leave they both get back on the ice and they'd win another cup just to have a picture of their most precious little baby sitting in it. amen