new game: when you hit the like button, you also hit the reblog button

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[id: graffiti on the base of a concrete overpass where previous grafiti has been covered over with gray paint multiple times. In black all-caps handwriting, it reads: "What kind of paint are you using to paint over this? Because if it is latex, its probably way too cold for it, you want good adhesion, you need like at least 40°-45°. Maybe wait till it warms up a little, I mean what's the big rush? Like, I'm in a rush now but our situations are different" /end id]

#cackling #well done

im so fucking stupid

i'm crying laughing this is so funny

age regressing but I was a precocious child so I act pretty much the same

there didnt used to be a bridge until one kept crying about being lonely like Maybe you should talk to the boyfriend i put in this saw trap with you. 🙄. but fine. theres a bridge now.

as soon as the one who kept crying about being lonely got off of his oil rig he immediately fell in love with a mii on the outside. someone is losing bridge privileges tonight .

bridge privileges restored his saw trap partner fell in love with him.

also it now connects to the other islands by making them walk through slenderman's forest to see their children

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

What’s the comic sans trick?

#i feel like someone just asked me to eat dirt for my health

Wingdings holy shit some of y'all are on a whole different level of galaxy wizard brain batshittery and I am in awe.

@andauril

sharing this here because you can can do bats

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

scientists are hard at work exploring each others bodies

Could it be more queer?

(To my personal assistant) Increase the sea salted wolverine’s budget

u can just do whatever at any age all of the time nobody cares except teenagers

teenager will be like ur 40 with a hobby ? 💀 that’s sad <- nobody else thinks this way though they are just going through some stuff

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,