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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@appleschloss

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most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages
in this world we all have our roles
Made a little comic about my eridian Oc :-]
The idea of them adding rain and Dr Grace immediately disliking it and going inside is just so tasty. On an animal level the biodome team are simply not pleased that he displays an aversive response!! AND YET this is precisely the whole deal with rain... even if they know that and the experience coordinator appreciates the extra tool to encourage him to move through different areas and spend his time in different places... it's just inarguably annoying to see Dr Grace squint and hunch in your PRECIOUS RAIN.
thinking about the “foogoo state” post
this one
when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.
AND SO IS BEING SOMEBODY'S MOTHER‼️

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“No one is coming to save you.” I disagree ! I believe many people made up of many small moments come to save pieces of you , even if just briefly. The mentor who believed in you . The friend who said they’re proud of you. The family member that makes you laugh . The random person who held the door for you out of nothing but kindness. The teacher who took extra time to help you understand. The person who smiled at you when you walked into a store. The little kid who looks up to you. The person who randomly complimented you. Being “saved” isn’t about being whisked away and all your hardships gone, it’s about the people and things that remind you life is not all hardships, it is kindness, love, gentleness, softness, care, thoughtfulness. It is many moments made up of your lifetime that keeps you going and showing you the world is still beautiful, and will always be. Despite.
That’s such a weird thing to say and a weird account. No proships and profic isn’t good to be, I can just imagine the level of fucked up brain you have and I wanna tell you it deserves jail and most of all hell, imagine if you get kids ? Ughh I feel sorry for them and it wouldn’t look good because everything you say and post here reflects YOU, you are somehow what you imagine and dedicate your posts about. What you write about, ew like imagine going into detail and SPENDING your time on that DELIBERATELY, how and why do you WANT that? Are you traumatised or just fucked up, I wlasys wondered if people are born fucked up. I won’t thank ao3, and there should be writer censorship and I will do everything in my power to make it reality. No one is acceptable to anyone’s fucked up fanfics, it’s the GENERAL taste of people ALL over the world so you can’t expect people to not come for y’all. Accounts like you don’t deserve to be anywhere near internet and I hope you live a miserable life like you put through and wish to do for your fictional characters.
man people like you are so unironically stupid that it’s entertaining. you can keep crying though I ain’t reading all that.
I’ll keep writing my dark fics and enjoying my favorite horror movies because 1. there’s nothing you can do to stop me 2. I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality 3. I don’t harass others over fictional characters just to feel morally superior.
enjoy the attention you want xx
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.
i must stress that he's never seen the original comic. My mother simply showed him the shorthand symbol and he memorized it. As far as he is aware this is just a fucking hieroglyph that deals instant psychic damage to everyone under the age of 30
today i learned that there are cave paintings of bats and i think you all deserve to see them
i love seeing my friends interests mentioned somewhere. its like woaaah. thats My Friends interest. from My Friend. wow. epic friend reference

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as you know one of the problems of english is that you can't capitalize "I" for emphasis because it's already capitalized
All three of them.
My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.

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[image reads: “geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at”]