kinda wanna write kinda wanna take a nap

sometimes i wonder if we have forgotten that sharing creative work is, fundamentally, a bid for human connection. like I'm not posting art or fic for 'engagement' i'm posting it looking for other sickos to play with! i'd be making it anyway for my own gratification because there's something wrong with me, i'm sharing it hoping we can have something wrong with us together <3

They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

It’s so hard loving a complex fictional woman because assholes will try to turn you against her by listing off all her flaws and it’s like yeah no shit, that’s the whole point. What aren’t you getting about this?

Speaking of which I don't know if I like railjack missions because I wanna do this story quest but I get so disoriented by the movement and how unwieldy it feels to me that it feels undoable to me. At least the archwing is fast enough to make up for it so I can manage to get shit done even if I do look like a fly that's high on something.

it still gets to me how underplayed vivienne is in inquisition. from the fact that we dont go much deep into her backstory like how was she as a first enchanter, how did she do things at celene's courts, more insights into her relationship with bastien bc hey, im sure they loved each other but the power dynamics are wayy too big for it to not be adressed At All. and the fact they dont even give her much to do in wewh when i feel like. Sure vivienne might hold off on voicing her real opinions on who should get the throne, but Surely she should be able to be giving us some more insight into Everything. and again, vivienne is someone who got a position that was no better then a jester's and made it into a real power, but even if she had the empress' ear, she still knows it wont make nobles look at her as if they're equals. she knows she will always be an outsider and Honestly, she should be allowed to get more into that, especially with non-human/mage inquisitors. of all people to get a little side quest in this thing, it should have been vivienne...

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate

I can no longer remember the title of the book it’s from, but here’s a quote that has remained trapped in my head for the last 8 years: “Driving in Ireland is dangerous because the roads are full of old farmers who’ve led good lives and are fairly sure they’ll get into heaven.”

replaying the duviri paradox tho reminded me of some important things, namely that drifter finds the first parts of the doll within the paradox on the zariman. they then proceed to only acquire the pieces from rage, envy, and joy before getting the doll's head from thrax... so i take it that means drifter did find the ones from sorrow and fear sometime before in previous loops, probably being helped by teshin, that they don't remember anymore. and that's really tragic to think about... that at some point they were on the path to getting out, maybe even very early into the spiral, but they either gave up or made a fatal mistake, and teshin had to watch them lose sight of the mission