sasuke was right

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

Kakashi’s narrative is so wild because after his first time leading a mission he’s so upset about the outcome that he kind of seems like, “I don’t want to be in charge of things anymore!!!” and then Konoha proceeds to put him in charge of an ANBU team, a genin team, a bunch of chunin teams, a battle regiment, the entire village

Like their parents’ last request was “take care of sasuke” and itachi was like yes I know just the thing then proceeded to give sasuke complexes that teams of psychiatrists could only dream of getting to discover

we actually cancel all the trains when it rains because we don't want them to get sick, if you even fucking care

one of my favorite tropes in chinese literature is when a guy’s wife is clearly a ghost/demon/fox fairy and he just can’t see it. i’m reading a story where this guy keeps getting arrested because his wife will just magically steal steal shit out of sealed boxes and give it to him as a present, and whenever someone is like dude i think something’s up with his wife he asks her and she’s like i’m literally normal. so he turns around and says yeah guys she’s literally normal

#hashtag Believe Women#feminism

all babies are baby gender. you dress them stupid, in pumpkins and teddy bear suits

When all you have is a vase, all your problems start to look like flowers

Well sometimes my problems look like two heads facing each other really close

A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO WORK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD WAS ON THE WAY TO WORK?

DONT MAKE ME ANGRIER THAN I AM

is that your penis in your hand or is it my penis. you and i have begun to blur