☆☆☆☆☆

it’s not a matter of “choosiness” as the term “picky” would imply—she genuinely can’t eat those foods even on a physical level. it’s sensory triggers relating to taste and texture that prevent her from eating these foods, but the physical symptoms they result in are just as severe as someone with an allergy or intolerance. just like them, she would starve if she didn’t have foods she could eat, because it’s not a matter of choice for her any more than it is for them.

you need to accept that autistics will:

make you uncomfortable

misread your body language

not pick up on your signals

make jokes you think are stupid or weird

give off body language that upsets you

flirt in ways that upset you

use tones of voice that upset you, especially ones you perceive as "angry"

not notice your facial expressions

want explanations for things that genuinely upset you to have to explain

avoid touch in ways you find offensive

seek out touch in ways you find offensive

say things that are so blunt or truthful you find them offensive

and so many many more examples

and autistics can't just "act normal," can't just "learn" to not do these things, and you need to understand that this doesn't make autistics dangerous, doesn't mean autistics need to be isolated from the rest of society, certainly doesn't make autistics fucking predators like so many so-called leftists are keen to brand autistic behavior as.

Also on the off-chance someone wants to suggest that this post is saying that you have to just let autistic people do whatever even if it makes you uncomfortable, no it’s not.

You are still allowed to have boundaries. You are still allowed to ask someone not to touch you a certain way, you are still allowed to not want to explain things that upset you. Autistic people are perfectly capable of respecting those boundaries if you voice them.

The thing they can’t learn is to “just know” because it’s “common sense.” Just be polite, be patient, and don’t assume intentions. Honestly, it’ll help you a lot with your allistic friends too.

Note: I'm late diagnosed, so I cannot speak for early diagnosed.

Feel free to add on.

Others have it worse, so I can't complain

I've done this my whole life. Can't stop now, even though it hurts

I can mask just fine. Why can't that autistic person just push through, too?

I haven't earned a day off

At least I'm not like "low functioning" people

If I was diagnosed before 2013, I'd be considered Asperger's. So, I'm not that autistic.

I know I have it tough, but I'm not disabled.

Being autistic means no one will want to date me. Autism is ugly, so I'm ugly.

That person saw me stimming, and even though it was helping me, they must now think I'm a freak

I don't act like that autistic person. What if I'm faking this?

I can't do this thing that would help me because my parents told me only r*tards need those things.

heheh thank you, nice to see u again

gonna talk about general info about autistic catatonia and personal experiences. all the non-personal experience info are from book catatonia, shutdown, and breakdown in autism by dr amitta shah, i very much not far in book but will summarize what i read so far.

so. experience autistic catatonia. which can look different from classic acute & severe catatonia in disorders like schizophrenia (preface/p. 17). so can't speak about that kind of catatonia. but personally also have apraxia and dissociation/dissociate from body, so have hard time separate catatonia experiences from apraxia from dissociation sometimes.

types of catatonia in autism outlined by dr shah (p19-25)

1. chronic catatonia & catatonia-type deterioration and breakdown

change & deteriorate in ability to make voluntary movements & activities, to point where affect daily functioning, independence, behavior, quality of life, etc.

also occur w regression of skill & independence

may not show classic signs of acute catatonia

2. acute catatonia (general)

aka the classic signs of catatonia

3. catatonia as shutdown

temporary shutdown of social interaction & communication during acute stress & get back to normal after stress pass

4. episodic/lifelong catatonia-type difficulties

not deterioration/breakdown but have chronic or episodic difficulty start movement & activities

5. catatonia features

not necessarily diagnostic of autistic catatonia especially if don't have deterioration or affect independence

so personally. when i say autistic catatonia, mean #1, chronic catatonia. have trouble voluntarily control own movements and also deteriorate so much.

don't really mean #3. although also experience it sometimes. autistic community call it "autistic shutdown" more and like that more because distinguish from chronic autistic catatonia.

primary difficulties & manifestations of autistic catatonia (p29)

increased slowness (in walking, response, self-care, etc)

movement difficulties (diffcult initiate, freezing & getting stuck, hesitations, difficulty crossing thresholds, difficulty stopping movement, may affect speech & eating)

movement abnormalities

prompt dependence

passivity & apparent lack of motivation

posturing

periods of shutdown

catatonic excitement

fluctuation of difficulty

personally pretty much experience all of them, except for maybe #6 posturing and #8 catatonic excitement? (also don't have a lot of trouble cross threshold like go through door and such), or at least only very mild forms of 6 & 8.

personally. get stuck a lot. have trouble start thing, from get out bed to brush teeth to do homework etc, all the big and small things. sometimes want to say thing and can't get body to say thing. may freeze mid action, like typing this post, do it very slowly because freeze in between every few words. sometimes mid doing things, just start staring and freeze in the position i hold.

biggest way to describe is just. get stuck all the time. stuck in head. freeze. body inclined to stay still, have really hard time control. so many times stay in head and stim inside head when can't stim with body because can't control body.

literally like newton's first law!!!!! objects at rest will stay at rest, object in motion will stay in motion (unless acted upon by an external force aka in this situation prompts).

need a lot of prompts. verbal or even physical prompts from other people. habit charts and behavior charts and phone reminders and even alarms don't work. need someone prompt.

autistic catatonia + communication difficulties mixed together means that rarely initiate conversation (either no interest or catatonia can't), need specific concrete questions, can't answer general vague big questions. literal stuck when asked big vague questions. sometimes stop talking/freeze when finish answering the explicit part of the question bare minimum and physically cannot continue elaborate unless someone ask another follow up question for prompt (other times don't recognize need to say more but that's more autism communication differences).

somedays good days and body more unlocked. many many many days body stuck.

What they mean: "I want to know whether to activate my short term waiting mode where I just wait and do nothing else, or activate my long term waiting mode where I occupy my mind with something else. I fully understand that both are possibilities, and I have no problem whatsoever with either one, but I want more information so I can best adapt to the situation."

How people experience their special interests is not universal. You dont need to know every single fact about your SI, or research it for hours. It doesn’t need to be something you want to infodump about.

It can be something that you just think about all the time.

Or something that gives you large amounts of energy when you’re engaging with it

Or something that just makes you extremely excited and happy.

and it can be hard to look at your childhood and go “I was hurt” and also know that the hurt wasn’t deliberate. it’s uniquely painful to not have someone to blame. 

you do not have to excuse the people who hurt you, even if it was unintentional. & acknowledging your own pain does not necessarily entail blaming them for it.

Society: "That's because you're not even trying. You're using your autism as an excuse. You should be ashamed of yourself."

Autistic Person: "I can do this."

Here's the definition of what catatonia is: Catatonia is a group of symptoms that usually involve a lack of movement and communication, and also can include agitation, confusion, and restlessness. It's a symptom of schizophrenia, but people with autism, bipolar and other severe mental illnesses can also experience catatonia. Symptoms include:

Not responding to other people or their environment

Not speaking

Holding their body in an unusual position

Resisting people who try to adjust their body

Agitation

Repetitive, seemingly meaningless movement

Mimicking someone else’s speech

Mimicking someone else’s movements

There are 3 known types:

Akinetic catatonia. This is the most common. Someone with akinetic catatonia often stares blankly and won’t respond when you speak to them. If they do respond, it may only be to repeat what you said. Sometimes they sit or lie in an unusual position and won’t move.

Excited catatonia. With this type, the person may move around, but their movement seems pointless and impulsive. They may seem agitated, combative, or delirious, or they may mimic the movements of someone who’s trying to help them.

But that's not what it means. It means that the differences cannot be accurately understood using oversimplified categories. Neurotypical people have a wide variety of skill differences. Some are more social than others. Some are more independent than others. Some are more successful than others. But no one ever divides neurotypical people into meaningless categories like "high functioning" or "low functioning", because that says nothing about how to understand them.

look how much fun they’re both having! yes!

and also this couple, who are both wheelchair users