Metal Will Never Die

even saying cost of living leaves something bitter in my mouth what kind of fucking phrase is that. vile

the penguin random house website currently has a banner playfully 🦦 offering the wait hang on. what was that. my phone's keyboard automatically suggests and emoji of the frolicsome sea otter when I type out the word "playful" 🦦🦦🦦... oh what joy. this has entirely made up for the fact that the villains at penguin random house are luring the unwary into a "quiz" that claims it will tell you what book to read next but ends not in a delightful literary recommendation but rather a request for one's email in order to receive book recommendations. vile behavior! most unsporting! and yet. I am at peace with my playful 🦦🦦🦦 otters

give me another amulet im not driving

why drive when you can teleport? unlock this new skill today by selling me your soul!

i pray next year brings some kind of fungal blight that kills all the gimmick blogs at the same time forever and ever amen

that’s.. actually kind of a rude thing to say.

2 days later and the cursed amulet is still posting like gimmick blogs are an oppressed group because of this post

why is nobody talking about how its halloween tomorrow

I don’t think that’s true

we could go back to telegraphs instead of social media. send your mutuals unspeakable strings of morse code at 4:30am

.- …. …. …. …. …. / ..-. . .-.. .-.. / -.. --- .-- -. / .- -. -.. / -… .-. --- -.- . / -- -.-- / .--. . -. .. - … / - --- -.. .- -.-- / -.-- . --- .-- -.-. …. / --- ..- -.-. …. / -.-- --- ..- -.-. …. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / … . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- -.-- / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. ….

yeah okay ill reblog that

i bet it feels so good if you're a little cat to put your head upside down like that

Owen Wormser!

maneater monday

Wait hold up this is awesome. So not because I'm ugly?