It's garbage

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Valkyrie Cain/Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie Cain & Skulduggery Pleasant Characters: Valkyrie Cain, Skulduggery Pleasant, The Bentley Additional Tags: Angst, Apocalypse, Major Character Injury, lowkey implied valduggery Summary:

They stand side by side. As usual.

dChapters: 1/1 Fandom: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Valkyrie Cain/Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie Cain & Skulduggery Pleasant Characters: Valkyrie Cain, Valduggery if you squint hard, Halloweeeeeenie Series: Part 2 of Gregson's AU Summary:

Two adults pretending to be boring.

There’s a horror in it that feels eerily familiar: the claustrophobia, the relentless pressure, the sensation of existing only to exist. It’s the same way the world can feel some days: small, unyielding, vast, indifferent.

Yet in that darkness, in the hiss of the machine, in the stubborn persistence of Simon and Markiplier’s creation, there’s a strange beauty. We keep going. We create. We risk. We do remarkable things even when nothing in life promises meaning.

His name is Tuxedo Sam and I love him.

Behold.

And I cannot stop thinking about Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain investigating a haunted gothic mansion.

my brain latched onto this and refused to let go...

“Tell me again why we couldn’t investigate a nice, well-lit haunted bungalow,” she muttered. “Because, Valkyrie, true evil does not manifest in bungalows. It manifests in places with gargoyles, unnecessary spires, and at least one architectural decision made purely out of spite.”

this is just. correct. actually.

“You ever notice,” Valkyrie said, “that haunted places are never haunted by anything useful? Like a ghost who just turns the lights on and makes tea.” “Useful ghosts get hired by libraries,” Skulduggery replied. “These are just the lazy ones.”

tell me this isn’t something they’d say five seconds before something screams at them.

Valkyrie pointed. “If one of those winks at me, I’m setting it on fire.” “One of the many perks of traveling with you,” Skulduggery said. “Arson as a conflict-resolution strategy.”

(or: Why This Relationship Has Ruined Me by Me, an idiot psychology major)

The relationship between Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain is often reduced to a mentor–student or hero–sidekick dynamic. This reading is convenient, tidy, and profoundly wrong. Their bond functions instead as a system of emotional regulation, trauma containment, and fragile survival. Beneath the magical battles and relentless sarcasm lies a deeply complex psychological dynamic. This essay argues that their relationship operates as a mechanism of emotional co-regulation and trauma management, evolving across the series and revealing the ways in which love, survival, and vulnerability are violently intertwined. By examining their interactions through a psychological lens, it becomes clear why this relationship is both heart-wrenching and absolutely necessary (and why it hurts so much to watch it fracture).

From the beginning of the series, Skulduggery functions as an external nervous system for Valkyrie. He absorbs fear, reframes danger through humour, and allows her to focus on action rather than panic. In Death Bringer, he tells her:

“Then why put labels on ourselves? … We punch people, Valkyrie. That’s who we are. Embrace your inner lunatic.” (Death Bringer, 2011).

This humour is not frivolous; it is doing extremely heavy emotional lifting in the form of psychological scaffolding. In psychological terms, co-regulation refers to the process by which one individual contributes to the stabilisation of another’s emotional state during stress. Typically, this regulation happens between adult and child—which is hilariously on brand here, since Valkyrie starts the series at twelve and Skulduggery is… ancient. He reframes terror as competence, chaos as routine, apocalypse as “a regular Tuesday,” and in doing so prevents Valkyrie from becoming emotionally overwhelmed.

This aligns with broader understandings of emotional regulation, which emphasise that humans often rely on trusted others to manage intense emotional states. Skulduggery’s calm, joking presence allows Valkyrie to retain agency in situations that should logically break her. He does not remove the danger but instead he makes it survivable. And yes, that is incredibly attractive in a deeply concerning way (don’t fight me on this).

At the same time, Valkyrie serves as a stabilising anchor for Skulduggery. She represents continuity, hope, and proof that the world has not entirely collapsed.

“…I wasn’t alone. I had you.” (Until The End, 2022)

Her presence allows him to channel grief into protection and purpose rather than emotional collapse. Meaningful attachment consistently helps individuals cope with trauma by providing stability, motivation, and a reason to endure. Valkyrie is not merely his partner in combat; she is evidence that connection is still possible after catastrophic loss. She is the future he keeps choosing to believe in. (sobbing).

Their bond is reinforced through humour and banter, which functions as their shared emotional language. Exchanges like:

“You are such a moron.” “Don’t be jealous of my genius,” (Skulduggery Pleasant, 2007)

are not throwaway jokes but acts of trust. These interactions disguise fear and vulnerability while simultaneously expressing care. Shared humour is a common coping strategy in high-stress environments, allowing people to reduce emotional strain while maintaining closeness. In other words, they flirt with death and with each other using sarcasm because direct vulnerability would be too dangerous. If they stop joking, something is very, very wrong.

However, and this is where it starts to hurt me, their system of mutual regulation comes at a cost. Their bond allows very little room for full vulnerability. The safety it provides exists only while both characters remain competent, active, and emotionally functional. Any rupture in the relationship becomes an attachment disruption, where the person who made the world survivable becomes part of the threat. This is made explicit when Valkyrie says:

“…You’re my best friend. I love you. You were my… I looked up to you.” And Skulduggery replies: “…You need to find yourself a new hero.” (Death Bringer, 2011)

The loss of a primary emotional support figure can lead to profound distress, emotional dysregulation, and identity destabilisation. This moment is not just sad—it is structurally devastating. The scaffolding collapses (SCREECHING).

Across the series, their relationship evolves. Early on, it functions as psychological scaffolding: protective, asymmetrical, and necessary for survival. In the middle of the series, it becomes complex trauma regulation, with both characters relying heavily on one another to navigate escalating danger and moral ambiguity. By the later books, the relationship matures into a consciously maintained partnership. Skulduggery explicitly reframes Valkyrie’s role when he states:

“I’m going to need you with me on this, Valkyrie. I’m a better detective with you as my partner, and I’m a better person with you as my friend.” (Resurrection, 2017)

This shift reflects a movement toward mutual interdependence rather than unilateral protection. Healthy adult attachment models emphasise the importance of balancing care with autonomy in order to sustain long-term relational stability (he literally can’t function without her).

And yet survival and care remain inseparable. Love and danger coexist. Humour and fear are hopelessly entangled. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain’s relationship exemplifies profound psychological interdependence, wherein humour, partnership, and shared trauma regulate emotion and facilitate survival. The series portrays love not as abstract safety, but as an active, lived experience of endurance and mutual protection. Their bond is devastating precisely because it works. It keeps them alive. It shapes who they become. And it teaches, in the cruellest of ways, that care can coexist with danger, sacrifice, and grief.

Ultimately, they do not simply love one another. They keep one another alive, psychologically and physically. And that is the part that makes it unbearable. The beauty of their relationship lies in the truth that survival itself becomes an expression of love, that love is endurance, and every joke, every sarcastic barb, every shared glance functions as both armour and intimacy.

And if that doesn’t emotionally destroy you a little… I genuinely do not know what series you were reading

I have clawed my way out of the university’s soul-sucking maw, dragging a pen and my dignity behind me. Behold: The Valuduggery Gregsons story I was going to write for Halloween but became distracted by life.

The Gregsons had survived the barbecue.

They had survived the bake sale.

They were not, Valkyrie Cain decided, going to survive Halloween.

The air over Maple Crescent smelled like sugar, smoke, and aggressively average cider. Jack‑o’‑lanterns leered from porches with varying degrees of craftsmanship and threat, synthetic cobwebs clung to hedges like bad decisions, and at least one animatronic clown had been legally classified as a mistake.

Inside House Number Sixteen, Sandra and Greg Gregson—suburban sweethearts, model parents, and absolutely not fugitives from magical witness protection—were preparing for the neighborhood’s annual Halloween block party.

Valkyrie glared at herself in the mirror.

She was a witch.

Not a sexy witch.

Not a whimsical witch.

A full‑scale, ancient‑crone, curse‑your‑bloodline witch, complete with moss‑stained robes, blackened teeth, and a staff that had definitely banished a demon in 2009 and still felt smug about it.

Behind her, Greg wrestled with a cardigan, attempting to button it over a T‑shirt with a glow‑in‑the‑dark ribcage.

“I thought you said you were going as Dracula,” Valkyrie said.

“I changed my mind,” Skulduggery replied. “Now I’m going as… Greg.”

“You are Greg.”

“Exactly,” he said, buttoning the cardigan and smoothing his glamoured disguise over his skeletal frame. “It’s meta.”

“You’re wearing a skeleton on top of a skeleton.”

“It’s Halloween. I’m blending in.”

“You never blend in.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“I’m aware.”

She squinted at him. “You look ridiculous.”

She raised me. she shaped my neurons. she’s been living in my wifi rent free since 2012. anyway i’ll be yapping about her until further notice.

Fear not.

I am, in fact, alive. Unfortunately, my current address is University Hell™, where my hobbies include: crying over deadlines, romanticizing 3 hours of sleep, and pretending coffee counts as a food group.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Ghastly Bespoke, Skulduggery Pleasant, Erskine Ravel, Valkyrie Cain Additional Tags: theres a little scene in Mortal Coil, where these three dudes are just chillin out, and im like huh, i want them to chill out, so I wrote them, just chilling out, War Stories, Battle Scars Summary:

“We’re the Dead Men,” Skulduggery said. Ghastly sipped his tea. “It’s a condition.” Erskine winked. “You’ll catch it eventually.”