This is lowkey long but Iām feeling chatty and thinky so have this my friends. Plus a sketch of Rocket bc why not LOL
But yeah basically, I donāt know, I just feel so unusual. I know Iām not that strange in the grand scheme of things. But my autism manifests for me in very isolating ways sometimes,
I genuinely struggle to think of things to think about and talk about that arenāt Rocket, I frequently annoy my family and friends by repeating stories and thoughts about Rocket over and over. But I canāt help it, itās how I function in regards to himš
Iāve absorbed practically every scrap of Rocket media out there on this physical earth, and Iām like, what nowww??? I just keep retreating my steps because I feel I have no where else to go lol. Iām running out of ideas!!! Not running out of passion, but ideas!! I could draw him every day for the rest of my life but my loves idk what other poses to put him in ctfu. But itās funny because sometimes Iāll be feeling this way and Iāll just take a weekās break and get a blast of ideas in a dream or whatever.
But Iāve seen each guardians movie hundreds of times, truly, and Iāve been going on guardians fasts where I try to keep myself from watching the movies for as long as possible so they can be fresh when I return but itās no use, lowkey no matter how long I stay away I have each line and shot and camera angle memorized down to a t, I know what shot is coming 10 shots before it happens, I know the when and where and how and why of every single scene in this entire franchisešššššš my autism knows no bounds Iām telling you. Iāve read the books, the comics, the interviewsā listened to the podcasts, seen the convention presentations, and deleted scenes. I have a folder of over 15,000 Rocket screenshotsšµāš«šµāš«šµāš« I made my brother go into the settings and remove certain channels from the 5.1 audio track of vol 3 so I can hear rockets voice isolated with no backing music or sound effects. Iāve watched Rocketās scenes across all movies in all available different dubbed languages just to get a different vibe. I make Rocket video edits all the time but I donāt post them anywhere. I write little scenes of Rocket and the guardians in my notes app, just vignettes of him existing. But sometimes Iāll overdose on Rocket thoughts and my brain will feel sopping wet, and Iāll try to force myself to think about something different for a while (with great difficulty) and all Iām thinking while thinking about other things is, hm, how can I make this about Rocket in some way? (And I always find a way)
Iām not going to go into great detail about this also but Iāve dealt with some FUCKED shit in my life and a while ago multiple things compounded and I started dealing with night terrors again, Iād wake myself up by screaming and crying Rocketās name in my sleep, as if he could hear me and come save me. Wtff!!!
Later on I had dreams of meeting Rocket at a party where Iād go up to him and tell him my story and he would give me a hug, and other times I have dreams of going to the theater to watch GOTG vol 4 lol.
Idk what the point of this is either LOL I just feel like sharing my thoughts I guess.
People seem to think sometimes that special interests are all fun and games all of the time but that could not be farther from the truthā I have driven myself to genuine anguish from not being able to switch the channels in my brain at will. Like, Rocket is my default thought. Heās the last thing I think about before I go to sleep, and heās the first thing I think about when I wake up. Itās not necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, it can be both, itās just a truth about my brain chemistry that I sometimes have to genuinely work around lol. Iāve been this way my entire life. Before it was Rocket, it was Taylor Swift.
āThe other halfā of my brain as I would refer to it, is taken up by my deep encyclopedic passionate knowledge of pop music. In my free time, when Iām not drawing Rocket lmaooo, I write and produce and record pop albums and do photoshoots by myself and with my friends and I have an entire musical identity, I just havenāt posted it anywhere because Iām afraid itāll make it scary somehow. I actually make a lot of songs ABOUT Rocket too that sort of combine these two halves of my brain. I could maybe end up posting these sometime if anyone would be interested in that.
So I guess what Iāll say at the end of this long winded post is, does anyone have any Rocket drawing requests lol? Any specific outfits or settings or moods you guys imagine him in? Iāve been meaning to ask you guys. Itās fun to gain inspiration in different areas.
Everyone sees Rocket a little differently, and I find it so interesting. Everyone sort of grows with and around their own version of him, and itās very sweet to me.
What is your Rocket doing rn?
Thank you for reading lol