if u recognize me, no you dont

(this is copy and pasted from my bluesky, so my apologies if it's formatted weirdly)

> Below is the initial post on my other platform

I have explained my situation in my discord server quite in depth. But for my privacy, I'll just go over things more vaguely here.

My family has been incredibly abusive and controlling for my entire life. The people i am supposed to trust and seek guidance in have failed me time and time again.

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These are the people who have denied my deteriorating mental health; people who have imposed an eating disorder on me when i was only a child, and they are people who have denied my experience with sexual assault.

And i've lived with my other side of my family, which hasn't been.. great.

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Life with my father held me back the most; my teenage years were spend tending to my father's every need. I was nothing more than a caretaker, having to feed my father, walk him to the bathroom, and also watch over the babies in the home. I was denied an education. So i've been screwed over!!

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I tried to get some help back then, but i couldn't speak to anyone; there was this massive language barrier and i was locked within four walls for years. I was terrified of human contact, let alone civilization.

Only last year i managed to return to the usa. Though.. returning to my other family.

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They haven't gotten better, they still treat me like dead weight, A burden.

They keep invoking ideas in my mind to turn to drugs for things THEY don't like about my body.

They express that if i came out to be a part of the lgbt+ community, they'd never accept me.

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There's been alot of shit happening in my life, im currently working to get diploma equivalent, and to get job. But, all my life i haven't been given any chance to be free, to be happy, or to be myself. So, This is a long goal i'm putting up for any help people may want to give.

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I want to get away from my family, make sure that they can't hurt me any longer.

Don't get me wrong, i love them, but.. the years of this treatment.

If i want to begin to be happy, I have to leave and cut them out of my life.

I have this goal so i can save up and eventually, leave.

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This isn't completely covering everything, but its the parts im comfortable sharing.

There's been alot of bad times, but im glad to have all of you that support me, and the friends i managed to make during my hardships. All of you have helped alot

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There's been so many times where ive been close to just ending it all. Nights where i believed that no one would care if i just died. But.. now i can remember that people do care, and friends who love me like the family i wish i had.

I am grateful for all of you, but i really, REALLY, need help.

> end

I didn't want to retype all of this on account that i will just start sobbing again, and if my family see me upset they usually just ridicule me for it and say that there is no reason for me to feel bad.

Im tired of this, being treated like a child when I'm a grown woman. Still having all my hardships be denied and invalidated by those who just can't understand it.

I need help - and i am not fully relying on all of you to provide that.

I am working for a better life, but with the cards I've been dealt my whole life.. work is hard to find, for now.

So, i will have this kofi goal up for a long time, to one day get out of this mess and just, live for once.