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@nelliejellybean

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Noting that the extra small available on the sales floor just wouldn’t work for his client, Zendaya’s stylist Law Roach reportedly asked a store associate Thursday if she had Tom Holland in any other sizes. “Excuse me? This sample size won’t work for Z, she’s very tall,” said Roach, who was overheard demanding that another employee grab a steamer and get the wrinkles out of the Tom Holland he was hoping to incorporate into Zendaya’s red carpet look for next week’s Spider-Man: Brand New Day premiere.
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wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck
I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you
I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products
Last time Tuberculosis ran through the USA a small number of people got it on purpose to look skinny and waifish and delicate and used makeup to look flushed and bony and when the Victorians figured out tapeworms people would infect themselves on purpose to starve themselves smaller and women and now in the year of our lord 2026 there is a noticeable fraction of the USAmerican population genuinely thrilled about a treatment-resistant microbial parasite that makes you shit and vomit your brains out for a month because side effects include weight loss and STILL we talk about being skinny like it's the natural default setting for all healthy people as if it's a self-sustaining standard and not an imaginary goal that we are constantly constantly constantly beating ourselves with a whip to acheive

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if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking
chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.
why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times
Many such cases
I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes
ZENDAYA at the new york premiere of 'the odyssey'
not to sound like a christian facebook mom but some of yall need to have grace in your hearts for the people in your lives or the people you pass once on the road and never see again like you literally need to stop assuming the worst of everyone and their intentions it is poisoning your brain. you can be careful and responsible without being a miserable person. it is possible i promise
you are a tar pit and you live this way because you choose to.
honestly i have been responding to some of these replies at face value bc i do also think you have a duty as a human being to be nice to people. but if you think this post is scolding you to be nicer to people then youve already lost the plot. this post is about how assuming that everyone you meet is hostile and wants to hurt you is bad for you. it ruins your life and it is a choice you are continually making.

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if she’s your girl why am I wearing her favour at the tournament
If someone jerks me off with a puppet it counts as a threesome, right?
read your bible
thanks!
(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive
vengaboys haiku
We like to party.
We like, we like to party.
We like to party.
At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful
If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh
If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

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actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now
"but they support [dictator] and [violent action]!" okay is it possible that a combination of propaganda, election rigging, and authoritarian crackdowns on dissent could lead a population to look like it supports something most people would find distasteful under more reasonable circumstances
whenever i look into a historical monarch who doesn’t get talked about much and is just kind of a blank spot in my understanding of the historical narrative, 95% of the time what i find is pure white hot blistering capability. a pencil pusher for the ages. a 39 year reign with no more than three hours of sleep a night. there aren’t any good stories from his reign because he systematically caught and stopped all catastrophic good stories before they could start. you shrimply must respect it