"I'm Like A Rotisserie Shithead!"

embarrassing yourself sucks but it is Not the end of the world. I'm telling me this

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

Tumblr is the program guide to the circuses.

Bro you definitely added too much soy sauce. Change your name and move to a new city

Just go missing bro it's ruined

*describing some learned fellow i'm acquainted with* he's very articulate *remembers when he crossed me* i mean verbose

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

this is so good. it's like i can hear the emojis too like truly so good. i'm obsessed with the way you voice the "So." especially !!

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.

Stephen King rightly gets a lot of shit for frequently having his characters think and speak in pop culture references that only make sense if you spent your formative years in 1970s Maine, but I feel like articulating that particular criticism on Tumblr is something of a glass-houses situation.

i will fucking die on this hill btw. carl is in that tier of side characters u could ponder forever off the crumbs 🤏 provided bc they are doing so much with him. he’s security. he’s the guy with the expense account. he’s brimming with fucking joy at doing Science Experiments. he’s a coworker. he’s a pal. he’s the guy watching over you like a guardian angel while you’re dragged into a long slumber. and probably your death. he’s the guy telling you “you’ll do great” as you beg for help. literally the character ever.

the rainbow is a well-known symbol of gay pride that originated in the late 1970s in san francisco, when the gay community promised to never again destroy the earth by flood

smash or pass a gentle summer rainstorm

smash to smithereens brother