"I'm Like A Rotisserie Shithead!"

Unfortunately it’s very easy to lure me places because I like to go somewhere

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

Encounter: junior league hockey god

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

little known fact about me i was actually isekai'd into this world from the video game world. i used to be a peggle orb

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?

beeen seeing alot of notes of people saying this inspired them to finally do their landry. i am filled with so much emotion that i might finally fold the landry i did a few days ago. maybe

help! my dog is sharp

help. i cant fathom the sharp edges of my dog

IT IS SAID THAT LOVE CAN SOOTHE THE SAVAGE BEAST

top gun is great because tony scott was like “i want to make a movie about sunsets” and the us navy was like “No you’re gonna make recruitment propanganda for the navy” and val kilmer was like “the studio has tricked me, juilliard trained val kilmer, into being here, so i’m going to portray a closeted homosexual” and tom cruise was like “i’m in a ray bans commercial!”

Ahh what the hell, gimme another unnamed layer! I ain't driving!

what world do people imagine their fursonae exist inside of. I love how undefined it is. some people are like "this is my sona Hryàxe, a hybrid dragon with ice powers who has been alive through three astral ages and toppled many kingdoms of men" and someone else is like "this is my sona he's an arctic fox named blurt and hes a barista in Toronto who loves to play mahjong." And then blurt and hryàxe are lovingly having sex on a tropical beach somewhere. and I'm like how'd they get to the beach

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated