Everything is lit, except my serotonin

#my old phone looks like this on my shelf lmao #im too scared to touch it to throw it away #idk what trash this even goes into when its at this point

The pillow-shaped object here used to be the phone’s battery. It’s not a battery anymore. Now it’s a balloon full of corrosive, pyrophoric chemicals and hydrogen gas and it’s one puncture away from burning your house down. I am 100% serious. You should be scared to touch it.

But you gotta touch it, because you gotta get it out of your house before the pressure builds up to the point where the balloon pops. This isn’t going to happen soon – there is no need to panic – but it will happen eventually.

And, indeed, it doesn’t go in the ordinary trash. You put this in the ordinary trash and you’re gonna set the garbage truck on fire. Don’t do that to the garbage collectors, their job is hard enough already.

The first thing you need to do is get a fireproof container. The most common household item that qualifies as a fireproof container is a cast-iron cookpot with a cast-iron lid – often sold as a “Dutch oven.” Any other cooking container that’s unreactive, has a very high melting point, and has a lid made of the same materials will also work: enameled or stainless steel, Pyrex with glass lid, etc.

However: Do not use a pot with a PTFE-based non-stick coating. If the battery does explode, the fire will probably be hot enough to degrade a PTFE coating, producing toxic smoke. (Not that you should breathe the smoke from the battery fire either, but PTFE breakdown products are worse.) Do not use a pot made of aluminium or copper. The fire might even get hot enough to melt those.

Whatever container you use, you might have to throw away along with the phone, so don’t use your good Dutch oven for this. Go to a thrift store and buy a cheap one.

Once you have the fireproof container:

Gently pick up the phone and put it in the fireproof container. If possible, gently tape the phone to the bottom of the container to prevent it from bouncing around. Don’t put any padding in there, that’ll just make a fire worse if it does happen. Put the lid on and tape it shut.

Put a label on the container, something like “DEFECTIVE LI-ION BATTERY – FIRE HAZARD”.

It is now reasonably safe to move the container around. However, if the battery does explode, the container is very likely to leak smoke and get hot, so keep it in a well-ventilated area and away from things that will be damaged by heat. Don’t leave it exposed to the weather, either.

You need to find either a hazardous waste disposal site, or an e-waste recycler that will accept defective Li-ion batteries. I can’t help with that because I have no idea where you live.

However, your local fire department, if you have one, will probably be happy to help. Call their non-emergency number. Nothing is on fire yet, so this isn’t an emergency, but things that can easily start a fire are still within the fire department’s responsibilities. Tell them you have a phone with a bulging lithium-ion battery, you put it in a fireproof container, and you want to know how to dispose of it safely.

If the fire department tries to tell you this isn’t dangerous or it’s okay to throw it out in the regular trash (with or without fireproof container), hang up on them and write a cranky letter to your local government representatives, then keep looking for a proper disposal site.

And they are buying as much as they can right now. Genderweird people, gay men, bi folks in same gender marriages, lesbians, anyone who looks around and realizes that the noose is tightening? They’re buying what they can afford. Sometimes a little more than they can afford.

People are asking about metal purity in our jewelry. This has never happened before, not even during the first trump debacle. People are worried, wondering how they can get out if things go real bad. And I tell them how to sell their stuff for cash if they need to. How to find places that won’t cheat them.

How to get the most out of the jewelry they already have.

They play it off as a joke, most of the time, and I’ll play along to make sure they’re comfortable, but we all know the joke is only funny because it’s true.

I have warned people that they won’t get what they paid back. People who buy jewelry are trying to make money, and they don’t care about the hours put into hand crafting a piece. They care about the metal, the stones, and not much else. Folks I tell this to understand, and sometimes ask if we sell bullion. Or coins. Something that they can use in the emergency they expect is coming.

I wish I didn’t have to do this. I wish more people worried about what it says when people are planning on fleeing their homes with only what they have on their back. I wish I didn’t have a plan for what happens when my genderqueer ass is declared illegal.

Due to the DeBeers cartel, diamonds are expensive to buy but kind of worthless because there’s a giant stockpile of them.

e.g. you can buy a $1000 diamond then try to sell it back and be offered $200. The price is artificial because not only are they not that rare now, but we cn make them bigger, better and in any colour we like.

Which means DeBeers is trying to persuade everyone that natural diamonds, mined the old fashioned way with slave labour or giant, ecosystem wrecking dredgers, are ‘better’.

Guillotines all ‘round.

Anyway, Silver is also a weird one: It’s too stable. You buy a bar for $5 back in 1995, and now it’s worth $5, accounting for inflation. It doesn’t really lose or accrue value that much.

OK at this point you should know that: 1: I’m not a professional: This is not my field. 2: This is my opinion and if you’re intruiged, you should absolutely research the hell out of this Ok that caveat done, this is where I’m going with this:

Gold on the other hand…

… Gold’s value is based on how much people are panic buying it. Republicans are always having A Moment and panic buying gold bars, pushing the price up.

Meaning the price is somewhat of a bubble, and there’s a point where it’ll burst and a lot of people will panic sell and drive the price into the ground.

This means that Silver is probably your best bet because the value won’t change very much, and there’s not a weird hyperinflation bubble happening, unless you want to speculate n the value of gold, which is a horribly high buy-in price, and you might not sell fast enough to avoid losing your shirt.

Bullion of any type is also partially scammy.

You can buy a plain bar with a little markup over the metal ‘sscrap’ price for the cost of processing (Casting a bar, assaying, certifying, packing, posting, someone’s profit…) and you will take a small loss when you sell.

But what you don’t want is the ‘collectable’ bars with buffalos or naked ladies or enamel painted eagles on.

I mean if you want one just because it’d make you happy, absolutely - I knew a guy who had a 1kg silver bar as a paperweight just to troll people who assumed it was fake. And I have a small 1 troy ounce bar I keep as a fidget toy.

The resale value of a 'collectible’ bullion bar is… about the same as a plain bullion bar, so any extra you paid is a loss. Unless you can find someone who desperately wants to collect that set (Which is possible in the same way as winning the lottery is possible: It is, but you won’t).

Coins are also… eh. Actual real coins are a whole different thing. A lot of bullion comes in 'Rounds’ - It’s fake coins. Bullion bars in disks to look like coins. They’re not legal tender, they’re just precious metals that are the equivalent of monopoly money.

You cannot spend them any more than you can spend a bullion bar, or a hallmark ceramic cupid.

There is a vested interest on the vendor’s behalf for you to believe that because they are circular and maybe have an eagle on, or a portrait of Trump, that they’re somehow worth more than the metal in them. They aren’t.

Bullion is very often sold as 999.0 fine. That’s 99.9 per-CENT pure. or 999 Per MILLE - It’s measured in parts per thousand.

This is an example of a bar that’s been damaged by handling - It’s mine, the one I bought to just hold and enjoy.

Handling isn’t just a cosmetic issue - It wears the bar down over time so it’s no longer 1 troy ounce exactly. Another thing you should watch for when buying.

A bar that hasn’t been handled will look more or less untouched, and be in a plastic case or bag. If it’s dirty or scratched and scuffed, it’s been someone’s play thing or possibly fake.

Beware of voins and bars that have soemthing in the description that admits that it’s impure - Fine Jewellry Silver? OK it’s mixed with Zinc to make it harder. Weird descriptions that make it sound like an SNL skit:

“Is it pure silver?” 'It’s FREEDOM™ silver, and that’s BETTER! Look for the eagle stamp’ “So it’s like… 999.99 pm pure?” 'FREEDOM™ silver is certified by the Trump Foundation!’ “OK but it’s pure silver.” 'Right but what’s the purity?’ “It’s 100% (shipped in) America FREEDOM™ silver!”

… it’s aluminium plated in silver that will rub off. There’s a lot of listing son non-bullion speciality sites doing this.

Or cheap “Chinese” bullion with zodiac stamps which won’t tell you the purity.

There are also a lot of Bullion sites buying and selling, who are… mmm let’s say they’re in the Trump school of economics.

The easy way to see who’s doing what is to Google for bullion live prices then compare to see if the market’s showing the same on multiple different sites like the Royal Mint.

Remember: If the price is too good to be true, read the small print, check the purity and the actual weight.

For example I left the bar on the left in my pocket and it shrank in the wash…

OK it’s a comically small but still very real bullion bar in its case. That’s what silver looks like when some asshole hasn’t been fondling it for years.

However, if someone did some creative photography and put that up, you might assume it’s a full size bar and miss that it’s small enough to fit in your ear. You think you’re getting ten big bars and… you’re getting ten chips, that have the value of about half a One Troy Ounce bar.

They are however very cool little novelties to give people. Now you know.

Anyway, unlike the metal I’m not precious. This is all my opinion. If someone (Looking at you @shymikka, if it would please you?) feels like explaining any parts that are wrong, dangerous or misleading DO IT.

(For those curious about why he's so pissed off: the Daily Kos story spells it out.) ...Tl;dr:

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