duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

hate that I was understanding when I should’ve just been a cunt

there is this thing called a "kitty cat". and you can get one for inside your home, and it will sit on all of your surfaces, and you can pet it.

a surprising number of people see the term "social construct" and think that it means something is not real when it actually means something is so very real because it was created by us and is constantly enforced, often violently

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

OP this is the funniest fucking pair of photos I've seen in my life thank you for this

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY GET YOUR GRILL ON