doctors hate me vampires want me carnally

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

Been reading howls moving castle lately and i do love how idgaf maxxing sophie is about. Everything. Learns her sisters swapped places bc one wanted to learn magic while the other wanted a family😐👍 gets turned into an old lady by the wicked witch of the waste😐👍 meets a fire demon and makes a contract w him before taking a nap on a cozy chair😐👍 learns shes a witch ans has been speaking magic into every hat she ever made😐👍 like i strive to give that little of a fuck. Which is contrasted to howl going on a neurotic spiral every two pages

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

video game secret: there's clever wordplay hidden in the title of the game "nintendogs". the word "dogs" is cleverly added on to the name "nintendo" to form the word "nintendogs". this is actually a reference to the concept of "puppies"

every lyric annotation on Genius reads like this

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America