mercutio-escalator -> narrative-foil
d e v o n

almost home

Product Placement
ojovivo
taylor price
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast

roma★
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

★
sheepfilms
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie

JVL
Peter Solarz
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor
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@narrative-foil
mercutio-escalator -> narrative-foil

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since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:
the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.
sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.
evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.
sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.
evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.
errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.
grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.
#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.
schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.
amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.
this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo
today is the ten year anniversary of the Pulse Nightclub shooting. a full decade ago, i lost a friend and a coworker. i was lucky. i had friends that lost several people. today, please remember and fight for all those that have died to live the life they should have been free to. i'll always remember you, Cory.
tbh it’s a red flag that the inventor of chiropractic got the idea from a ghost. bones are like the #1 thing ghosts don’t have
Pride sharks! Happy pride month :D more super cute pride flags themed sharks coming soon 👀

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i keep seeing posts absolutely drowning in purple five-dollar words and a couple vague references to greek gods and i always think "this kind of writing must go so hard if youre stupid", assuming it must be something a teenager wrote from like 2015, then it's a post by a 28 year old from two days ago that has like 30k notes and im reminded this website floats on incredibly tacky and dumb nerds
could it be possible that it hits hard if you are literate?
It's not outside the bounds of reality that you may have been tricked into participating in the Dumbing People Even Further Down operation by the most banal and least interesting minds on earth.
i think people are starting to confuse class analysis with bioessentialism. like... no not all men do this, but Men as a constructed social class do do this. that's still okay to say. that is regular material analysis of the world around us.
yk I feel like Rocky's opinion on the other humans on project Hail Mary would end up basically just being that one tumblr post about how "I can hate your dad for you"
Like Grace can have complicated feelings and understand that Ms Eva made the tough choice and ultimately did what was necessary and best for everyone in the long run and he forgives her in the end
And Rocky can understand all this but also think that they were dumb and stupid and mean to his best friend
I need fat female characters in tv whose weight is inconsequential. It means nothing to the story.
She's fat and gets the guy and no one bats an eye.
She's fat and the hottest chick in the sorority and that's normal.
She's fat and an actress and she gets good roles.
She's fat and she's funny and she has character depth and growth.
She's fat and the main character and no one mentions her weight once.
I'm fat and my weight doesn't play a part in my day to day conversations, or plans, or friendships. Why can't I have that on tv?
I actually don’t mind that “dead dove” has become conversational shorthand for “fics with heavy themes where you REALLY need to pay attention to the warnings”. such is the nature of language. what i do mind is when people tag their actual fics with dead dove and then give no indication of what they’re actually warning about. that is useless. that helps no one. that is completely against the spirit of the meme. i will not be reading that
#in order to emphasize that someone needs to pay attention to the warnings #you must provide warnings to pay attention to (@words-writ-in-starlight, summing it up)

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This is literally what people are talking about when they say AI will be used to mainstream widely held bigotry. LLMs are trained on frequency and probability -> straight relationships are more well represented in the dataset -> straight pronouns and terms become the "correct" normal.
This is a form of backdoor bigotry from both normative facts (there are more straight than gay relationships) and well represented bigoted beliefs (men are superior to women).
Combine this with the mass of people inclined to believe (and being encouraged to believe) that if AI says and does something it must be correct
turns out it was cause they were just straight up eating the poisoned food out of rat traps which has a blue dye in it and had just developed a near total immunity another W for the glorious hog
going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
Blue Lois
can i help you
Red Marge
jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack
World Heritage Post
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me
a chainsaw is a lot like a hot glue gun
when you have one in your hands you start to get Ideas about your surroundings
this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

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This is a fucking new one
New bumper sticker 🕺