obsessed with this interaction where someone has apparently been living with the sincere belief that misha collins threw the shoe at bush

#extradirty
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@naodestavez
obsessed with this interaction where someone has apparently been living with the sincere belief that misha collins threw the shoe at bush

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method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows
and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows
i can't cope
a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.
Metahuman with super healing powers whose entire job is that once a week they go to a nearby hospital and are put into a medically induced coma for 24 hours while all their organs and blood are harvested, and kept there until they've healed up again.
They get paid a small stipend by the Heroes Council for this, and they live off that.
No crime fighting, no obvious heroics, and they only took a Super Identity because it's technically hero's council policy. Nobody's ever seen them in a cape.
Every so often the Heroes council will release an official report to the public, and there'll be another bunch of news articles wondering how some unknown super calling themselves 'Meat Factory' somehow consistently holds the record for most lives saved across the city.
It is essential to my vision that they are not at all sanctimonious about this.
Like, they regularly act like they're getting away with something. They joke about how they get to earn money in their sleep. They show up to their hospital visits in deliberately ridiculous disguises, on the excuse that they need to 'protect their identity'.
Part of their employment contract is that they get served the same post-operation vanilla ice cream that they normally hand out on the childrens' ward. Also a sticker. Their overnight bag is covered in stickers.

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“what is the target audience of this post” what?????? does your diary have a target audience
the target audience of all of my posts is me
i block ppl all the time so my blocklist ranges from "actual fucking asshole fascist" n "post that mildly annoyed me because im petty" and if i went thru my blocklist rn i probably would have no idea why i blocked each of them but whatever
cannot even begin to imagine the Blade Runner cyberpunk shit this ladybug i found on my RGB keyboard was going through

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Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.
It’s recently been found that even hive insects rest. Bees will play with colorful toys. Ants sleep for about 1 minute but they do it so frequently it amounts to a few hours per day. Even trees take breaks.
The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.
EVERYTHING THAT LIVES REQUIRES REST. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING A ROBOT.
robots require very frequent breaks! welding machines generally have it programmed in that they can’t run so long they melt themselves. ive overseen two different manufacturing robots now and each of them were fragile, finicky idiots that require constant maintenance and repair. they pause in between moves, in between jobs. you’re always keeping an eye on programming errors, on coolant levels, on heat. you’re always pulling bits of scrap out of joints, sweeping up debris, washing off nozzles and untangling hoses. and even then it snaps a chain and takes a whole morning’s vacation.
even robots need downtime.
[Image ID: Tweet from SpookyBritches Jules (@/ SQLPi) on Oct 12, 2020 reading: Reminder that you are an omnivore, a predator, and a pretty big one at that. You are not a bee or an ant. It is, in fact, normal for you to just want to lay around not producing anything. You’re a mammal. Stop judging yourself for not being a hive insect. /End ID]
Plain text: Everything that lives requires rest. Stop judging yourself for not being a robot.
The only thing — not man, animal, insect, plant, or machine — that demands no rest is capitalism
its important to me that all y'all know that mannertee has an arch nemesis
his name is Ikanzame and he's a shark with bad driving etiquette!!
ikanzame!!! your people of virginia desire you carnally!!!!
highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.
me: oh thomas cromwell, we're really in it now. every day i get emails.
the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: i was on committees with the duke of norfolk. and they beheaded me.
me: yep. good point.
me: cromwell. cromwell this post has got too big and famous and people are starting to misunderstand me on it.
the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: oh no! you achieved too much fame and status? and now people are misrepresenting you? should we strip your lands and title? have you been beheaded?
me: YES ALRIGHT FINE
man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

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Saw this on FB and tried to find the original, which I haven't, but the point is so solid.
The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me
This is painfully American
Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem
when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.