mcm

i feel like ocd is so hard to describe to people that dont have it... like... everyone gets light intrusive thoughts that are basically just impulses or things you can shrug off. but with ocd like... you get intrusive thoughts that feel like YOUR OWN REAL THOUGHTS and ?? the fear that those thoughts might be true is intense and causes panic and sometimes you dont get anxious anymore and youre numb and youve accepted the fact that you think the thoughts are real because youre not panicking anymore even when theyre not., plus with many types of ocd like rocd and hocd there's no way to get a definite answer and so its just an eternal loop of anxiety

why does my OCD have to ruin fucking everything lol.  like E V E R Y T H I N G.  and its so hard to explain to people because most of my compulsions are mental like monitoring my thoughts and my feelings and trying to censor them.  but like i also have a confession and reassurance compulsion which is a major bitch.  And now my obsessions are almost all relationship based, and i don’t wanna fuck this up and break his heart

I think having OCD can feel so alienating a lot of the time because it isn’t seen as a ‘genuine illness’ by the majority of people. I remember in my first year of high school my teacher told us to “scrub our hands like we have OCD” and the thing is, yeah, a lot of people with OCD including myself have hand washing compulsions, but people really underestimate how OCD can affect relationships and daily life, and the fear of other people hating you for making the tiniest mistakes, not to mention intrusive thoughts, which can be different for everyone but are always scary and make you feel unsafe and like a stranger to your own mind. Having OCD isn’t a quirky trait or habit, it’s a serious disorder (that’s WHY disorder is in the acronym) that needs to be understood more, and the best way for that to happen is to portray OCD correctly in media (the only film or show I can think of off the top of my head that even tries to portray a character with OCD is Glee, and that had some serious issues around how the disorder actually works, and was oftentimes played as a joke) and for people with OCD to talk more openly and honestly about how it actually affects a persons life. Depression isn’t just being “bummed out”, and OCD isn’t being a “neat and tidy person.”

REBLOG IF YOU DON’T MIND WRITERS TAKING TIME OFF FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH

look not to spoil the ending but you’re going to recover and be happy

due to personal reasons, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH