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close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

my names christian baby. im the one from all the questions. I grew up now but I'm not Christian anymore. I tell people my names "Lyle" and Im a shift manager at a secondhand sports clothing store. honestly I want to leave all that business behind me

sorry about the time a baseball pitcher threw you at me and I hit you with a bat and scored a home run to a chorus of sinful cheers and holy boos. I thought you were a baseball... 😎 wrong emoji 🤑 wrong emoji 🦶 wrong emoji 👄 wrong emoji 😷 wrong emoji 🛀 wrong emoji 😖

its cool man. water under the bridge

you did what you had to do and I get that

had a dream that there was this new tiktok trend called "scrubbing" where people would take images of fictional characters and put them in images of bathtubs and drag around transparent pngs of soap and brushes with their tiktok art tablets and like liquify tool their hair down to mimic giving them a shower. and people would get into flamewars in the comments of every single video over the types of soap they picked and if the images had decently removed backgrounds and if they got soap in their eyes. and it got onto the news because it turned out everyone doing the trend was doing it compulsively like they physically couldn't stop and each video was a solid few minutes long because they were just collectively obsessively recording themselves fake-showering these fictional characters and arguing about it online

for the record I have never used tiktok and like explicitly in the dream I learned about it secondhand from a discord server so there's that also which is funny I think

If I’m correct, this is from the article “list of common misconceptions” which happens to be one of my favorite Wikipedia articles

It's the first Tuesday in February, time to have a click around the Wikipedia list of common misconceptions!

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

many such pillowcases

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

Sturgeons should not have to work in the warehouse

They cut off my barbells and forced me to balance boxes of fast fashion slave labor blouses on my scutes. They made me kiss capitalism with my protrusible mouth

They took my vape

The warehouse is not a sturgeon’s ideal habitat.

NO IT IS NOT

if i had a time machine, first thing id do is obviously kill hitler. even if germanys fascism was caused by complex socioeconomic factors itd still be worth doing for the bit. then id go even further back to the early 20th century and become one of those old timey bank robbers, when they had names like 'pretty boy floyd' and 'baby face nelson' and id make sure people knew me as 'sweet baby ray' just to see how it fucks with barbeque sauce history