Rodney Is Not My Son.

Why did Edward not buy a heated blanket for his late night cuddles with Bella?

*Charlie reaches over and uses Edward’s diamond hard skin as a beer bottle opener*

taylor swift’s work wouldn’t be nearly as insufferable if she wasn’t constantly trying to present herself as some sort of tortured underdog. like, okay, she has endured hardships, and a lot of people, especially white men, are shitty towards her for purely misogynistic reasons. that sucks, i agree. but she’s never been an underdog before. she was born to well-off parents who did everything they could to start her music career when she was barely even a teenager, an opportunity that lots of people would kill for. now she’s extremely famous and wealthy, and everything she releases is destined to sell millions of copies and receive glowing reviews in nearly every publication. she is not an underdog, and i have trouble believing she’s particularly “tortured.” she’s not even an alcoholic, despite claiming to be one on the opening track of her new album! people like to defend her lyrics by saying she’s just playing a character, which i don’t believe for a second, but even if she was, i don’t think i want to listen to someone like swift play the character of a tortured underdog, not when there’s so many musicians out there who are actually tortured underdogs. it comes across as hollow. “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me,” sung by one of the wealthiest, most famous, most critically acclaimed musicians in the world, who was born to loving parents who personally helped her start her career, who once said she’d never been to therapy because she “just feels very sane.” if you’re going to play a character, maybe pick one who we’re not supposed to pity.

Ok def was not expecting this level of relatability

*submits this to the library of congress as a culturally, historically or aesthetically significant film*

i love seeing cardinals and bluejays together i’m always like “hehe.. evil siblings”

They’re not even related. Jays are a type of corvid, like crows and magpies, and Cardinals are a grosbeak.

well you see, they are both birds and they both have fun hats. hope this helps

A new version of Phineas and Ferb is being released. It is on a streaming service, and will be rated MA. Everyone wonders what this mature version of their beloved kids show will be. The first season is released, and you start watching it. It is just the same as the first season of the old show. Is this some elaborate joke? Finally at the end of the first episode, it happens. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is defeated, as he usually is. This time, however, as Perry is making his exit, you here Doofenshmirtz yell, "Fuck you Perry the Platypus." This is the only thing that has changed in the show.

I assumed that Ferb would finally be allowed to kill

when the,. when,, then the pu, the pus, when - when you- the

WHY

seeing this door makes me feel like i have never truly contemplated the possibilities of doors as a concept, as though a new understanding of what it means to be a door has been forced upon me

any female born after 1998 can't cook...all they know is mcdonald's, charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual, have long covid and lie

It's not gay to suck a guy's dick if he beats you in a video game first. Those are just the rules of being a gamer.

best part of princess bride is that inigo loudly and openly states to anybody who will listen that he's going to kill a guy for revenge and has been chasing this for a while and instead of anybody saying "but revenge wont bring ur father back are u really sure that killing this guy will make anything better arent u scared of regretting the one thing uve spent ur entire life chasing" they're all just like "yea dude sounds cool hope you find him" and then he does and inigo kills him and is just "aw cool my dads avenged now i can go ride off into the sunset with my friends" and i think thats actually really great. yea maybe revenge isnt always the answer but it sure does make you feel better

i think if your account has existed on this site for a certain number of years you should be grandfathered into ad free browsing. a decade seems reasonable like if you signed up in 2012 or prior you have tenure

Were you a victim of the Mishapocalypse? You might be entitled to compensation