We'll Never Never Never Need Your Love

This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks!

I try SO hard not to make faces when I hear someone around me say wild shit but I just can’t stop myself

Yeah we are just a couple of golden retrievers that lay on the couch and heave a heavy sigh and then see each other and go absolutely wiggly bonkers

me at a museum- (gazing at a random item of mundane life) what was the name of the person who made you? what songs did they sing? what jokes did they tell? what was their favorite food? did they ever marry their sweetheart? who remembered them when they died?

there is no “gay people music” we arent a monolith and we all have different taste. except for that rasputin song.

I never used to understand what “making connections” looked like but it turns out it’s standing at a party and saying “I’ve been thinking about getting into the film industry” and someone saying “Oh, Sarah works in the film industry” and Sarah yelling from accross the room “Did someone say my name?!?!?!”

You casually mention that you’ve been thinking about such and such and your professor overhears and is like “oh I know someone who works there. Do you want me to email them for you?” And you go “Sure.”

It’s the six layers of separation thing. Everyone is only so many layers away from everyone else. So if you stand in the correct rooms and say the correct things out loud once in a while eventually someone will say “Oh, I know a guy.”

And then eventually you turn into the guy that someone knows. I think. It’s hard to tell.

reblog to give retail and restaurant workers the right to spin kick unmasked entitled shitheads

cursebearing hips

WHO THE FUCK IS WATER MARK

Oh honey, that's a what, not a who. I know nouns are hard in the era of intellectual property, but keep trying.

Good news: World Wildlife Fund allows you to do exactly this! There’s a bunch of species to choose from and the plushies are adorable.

Thanks to this post, I have adopted an orca named Oreo, and an elephant named Minnie.

Bumper stickers shouldn’t be like political opinions and fandoms. They should solely be facts about you and you’re driving that other driver’s might like to know. I want a bumper sticker that says “I’m scared of left turns and I know you can make a right on red but this car doesn’t turn so good in the rain so we’re gonna wait until it’s green.” They’ll still honk but I’ll know I’ve pled my case before my peers.