surfin' through space on a sequin-covered jetpack

love leopard seals. they are so dragon coded. that is an entire mammalian marine wyrm

Any educator who doesn't feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase "Unused York City."

barty is the kid in school who would always say "oh my god i totally failed that test" and get 100% or be like "my grades are so bad" but have a 4.8 gpa

he doesn't sleep he doesn't eat there's giant bags under his eyes the boy is a disaster

Tumblr Code.

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neolithic people were like these rocks need spirals. and they were right.

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

no no, boyfriend is right, we need to play more into that. omegaverse is ants now

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

Mad At You Island is where the events of William Shakespeare's The Tempest take place

tHERE ARE MEMES IN THOSE HIEROGLYPHICS

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

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just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……….like being horizontal? unparalleled

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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

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a person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern stuff . however , a duck from 150 years ago would just be all like ,still got lakes? yes ? okay cool

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why is “get ___ed idiot” one of the funniest sentences in the english language

get verbed idiot, the sequel to “ok nounboy”

get verbed nounboy

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