yeah
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@mxbison
yeah

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blood splattered surgical gloves are a sort of lingerie in a way
Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!
I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day
The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.
Yeah that checks out.
What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?
Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.
Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.
While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.
Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.
Painter: Aw...
Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... š¤
Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?
Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.
Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.
Candysseia: And where did he come from?
Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.
Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?
Pericles: *hands him papyrus*
Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!
To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.
Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).
āWhen we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.
āAnd we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-ā
She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. āThings got pretty bad after that,ā she muttered. āI know itās silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We donāt know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if sheās even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when Iām out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didnāt - didnāt really take that well.ā
After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. āAnyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.ā

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i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny
Very generally speaking, when you see a black man in a piece of media, be it tv show, movie, video game, etc. thereās something you often see a lot of writers do. To go against the stereotype of black men (and black people in general) being dumb and lazy, youāll see this black male character being smart and an achiever. ļæ¼
The Black Nerd. A common character type, the nerd will always be very interested in all things nerdy: science, video games, mathematics, etc. In an continued effort to combat stereotypes, the Black Nerd will be lack athleticļæ¼ism, probably being asthmatic (the nerdiest of conditions). The Black Nerd will dress smartly, suspenders and bow ties. Theyāll always talk smart too, using proper English with complex words.
Now, I donāt have a problem with a black character being a nerd, indeed black people are a people; we arenāt all the same and we all have varying personalities. The problem I have is that too often we see a distinct disconnect between Blackness and the Black Nerd. The Black Nerd doesnāt listen to hip hop or rap, only classical music. The Black Nerd only has white friends, the only other black characters are into not nerdy stuff. The Black Nerd never ever uses AAVE at any time in any context.
And again I must say that Black people, not being a monolith, there are no hard fast rules to being Black. Iām more than sure there are Black people like what Iāve described above, Iām not saying itās impossible; what Iām getting at is that the only Black Nerd we see. There are Black Nerds that play basketball, that bump Kendrick Lamar, and use AAVE since itās an ever changing dialect. Iām just saying thereās no one way of being a nerd and no one way of being Black.
Well @dumbey, seems weāre in similar boats
This aināt about him, this is about Black/Asian solidarity. Focus.
saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but tāļøhat one is chinese
holdon
what the fuck is going on in this site's backend

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Ultimate allo enby bisexual naming themselves "Guns" so yyou can. So you can Fing
i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that āune pipeā is slang for blowjob
Just met a trans man who's going on T because he specifically wants to be bald and i'm afraid to say i think i'm just never gonna meet anyone cooler than that ever again
I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever
The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late
For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral
Okay, let's do the math here, shall we?
On an average, assuming genetic invariability with reference to allosomes (which can be premediated via presence or lack of the Y Chromosomes which can be identified by a simple blood test, yadda yadda yadda), you're talking an average of 8 weeks for the pregnancy to be readable enough in re sex of the kid. (Assuming the kid is Cisgendered.) This is typically followed by 9 months of pregnancy (- the 8 weeks) and about 18 months of recommended recovery period after. This gives the conception and birth of each kid an average timeline of 27 months in all, which is about 2.25 years.
Now, in re Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5, there are a total of 9 individuals mentioned. Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita, Monica, Erica, Rita (repeated), Tina, Sandra (repeated), Mary, and Jessica. Assuming the existence of a singular Rita and Sandra which were called upon twice in the song, we can assume that this would involve a grand total of 2.25 x 9 = 20.5 years of near constant pregnancies to produce the offspring in question.
Assuming that the embryonic host typically hits Menopause at around 40, we can assume that the primary conception in re the same occurs at around 19.5 years of age. Which is still premature in re sociocultural aspects but the body is more than capable of handling such a strain at that age.
Also, in case we assume that every one of the offspring remain in all cases, cisgendered (which is a variable that is very hard to account for), we can assume that there is always a possibility that the allelomorph of the embryo involved can occasionally involve an XY chromosome. The detection can successfully occur at 8 weeks, and in case an abortion ensues, conception can recur within as little as 2 more weeks. That is an added extra 10 weeks per in re the nondesired sex.
In case of purely clinical states, such as IVF, where the Ova are extracted and externally fertilised each time, a system of Preimplantation Genetic Testing for Aneuploidies (PGT-A) can be incorporated in order to identify XX chromosomal situations and ensuring further that only those are implanted. This, while making sure that the offspring in question are necessarily of the XX karyotype, cannot of course state whether a state of monozygotic twinning can occur or not. More often than not, in order to maximise chances of implantation, more than two embryos used to be implanted into the uterus, typically around five. But technology has significantly improved in the years following which makes sure that there is no need for the same. Elective Single Embryo Transfer (eSET) is now the standard in modern IVF, prioritizing the transfer of one, high-quality, genetically tested blastocyst to achieve a healthy, single-baby pregnancy. This shift minimizes severe risks associated with multiple pregnancies, such as preterm birth for babies and severe complications for mothers, while maintaining high success rates. Clinics now reserve multiple embryo transfers primarily for older patients or those with histories of repeated IVF failures, rather than routine practice.
In case there are more than one embryos that get implanted that are undesirable, the extra embryos can be removed through a medical procedure called multifetal pregnancy reduction (MFPR) or selective reduction.
In summation, assuming of course that we are talking about the most clinically ideal circumstances, where there is the implantation of a single embryo each time, that still gives you about the same timeline of about 20.5 years. In case of preferring to determine sex after (which is cheaper) as opposed to before (which is still pricey as fuck in today's economy), that adds another 10 weeks per embryo. Unwanted implants can be removed via MFPR.
I forgot what my point here was. Anyway. Have fun if you're planning on that.
IVF'ing my nine daughters at once as a trans man to speedrun what the youths are calling "the Lou Bega challenge"

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it takes 10 layers of the water filter to completely drown a tumblr screenshot if anyone was wondering
Story time:
In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.
Hereās what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.
What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didnāt want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.
The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasnāt allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasnāt even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didnāt help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.
So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmesās blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the ārightā answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. Itās not about truth when itās about paying rent. Thereās no scientific integrity if you canāt control for human desperation.