okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
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Hiding mood stabilizers in my pet yandere's food so she slowly becomes normal and doesnt realize it until she watches me kiss another girl on the cheek and only gets a moderate amount of upset and then she starts feeling hollow and purposeless so i offer her a demonic blade and- oops i got kind of worked up there. The point is that I'm hiding pils in slices of cheese like shes a dog
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pro-ai people are some of the stupidest people on the fucking planet tell me why this fucking idiot saw me pointing out that google is fucking stupid and worthless now and replied “you just need to get better at prompts”
NO you fucking MORON google used to be a goddamn SEARCH ENGINE that searched for KEYWORDS i shouldn’t have to learn how to coax answers out of a glorified calculator!!!that’s like turning my car into a picnic table and when i get mad i can’t use it as a car anymore replying “you just need to get better at picnics”
Man what the hell I went to the club in my dream and my brain made up a new goth band that was the New Hottest Edgy Thing when when I woke up I realized the lyrics were just "I love you vampire. Monday vampire Tuesday vampire Wednesday vampire every day vampire" and it just goes on like that in like a typical bauhaus esque goth voice. What. Kindergarten goth song
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i don't remember them playing mahjong but they do other old man things like going to the wet market together and drinking soup and taking walks. anyway go watch suk suk / twilight's kiss
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we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,
I love the insinuation that the second the princess realized she was a girl and thus actually a princess, the dragon was there. That thing wasted no time. It heard "princess" and was like "I need no further invitation, here I come."
listen, i hate grogu as much as everyone else. But you CAN NOT let that spill over into hating baby yoda. Grogu is an annoying marketing gimmick from a blockbuster megacorporation. Baby Yoda is a LITERAL CHILD STAR being taken advantage of by basically every adult in his life. If you know anything about child stars you know how they're treated. We know from whistleblowers they're making him pull 12 hour filming days (again, as a LITERAL CHILD), and he's almost certainly not interacting with kids his age; they can do whatever they want to him because he doesn't have the experience to know any better. We already know they've got him on ozempic, god knows what the fuck else they have him on.
And before anyone brings it up, I DON'T CARE about how he acted at the met gala. He shouldn't have even been there in the first place, he's a child, of course he's going to act out, and he's been conditioned basically since birth to think that's okay because again. EVERY SINGLE ADULT IN HIS LIFE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM. He's literally the victim here and Disney is encouraging this. Until you all get a lot more youthlib i don't want to fucking hear your opinions on baby yoda.
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