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CW : sexual assault , transphobia , slurs

online spaces have primarily been sites of trauma for me so it is always special the rare occasions i opt to be visible through my online body. people think transness like emanates from tumblr or something, as if our hxstories / existence begins and ends in this online space. that is nonsense and i am choosing to celebrate trans day of resilience by being embodied online. I don’t embody myself much online because i grew up online, again, in traumatic ways.

i am a person who has been “correctively” raped by someone related to the medical setting (a security guard) where i used to go for my testosterone shots. He forced feminized me and shaved my body before using me and he was also a mixed nikkei person. our communities are complicated and we all are implicated in the calls to heal and change.

im coming out about that today on a day about our resiliency and focusing the many black trans women who are murdered. the driving force behind these violences against our communities are racism and queerphobia, with the intent to eliminate our joy in being alive and our stories and lives. for a long time after that assault i stopped taking testosterone and felt knocked back into a grey area of existing, without agency, again. i do not feel that way today.

This snowflake pride flag bearer is a carefag kinky transexed cripbitch yellow peril earthbased bisexual queer male mixed grrrl

and that is what it says.

the black stripe was there first, to center the guiding stars / deepest ancestors and those facing the most violence within our queer community. This flag has been in my room for a while now, but the words were written today.