Eat My Bi Ass Bitch

i keep thinking about that tribe of baboons where all the alpha males died from eating poison garbage and then the baby boy monkeys were taken care of by the lady monkeys and never got socialized to be aggressive so they all just live peacefully and groom eachother instead of fighting and killing eachother and its been generations of that, it only took 1 wipeout of the aggressive males to change the whole social order of the species i am crying they must be so much happier

……….I have an idea.

it's really wanting-to-be-kissed o'clock huh

on that note PLEASE let me know if i’m suddenly posting random pictures of women with a link underneath the photo. don’t click the link, just FYI.

i do suggest reblogging this in case someone sees this happening to someone else they follow

yo heads up cuz my blog actually was hacked by a porn bot before and I was in holland away from my lodgings with no wifi and I didn’t find out till I got back at the end of the day, and it completely reset my blog page and theme I spent hours on, it was devestating

reblog if u fucking love carbs, just ate a bagel, or u a fucking asshole and don’t care

Honestly I live for making girls laugh,,, if I can make at least one girl laugh then I’m doing my job as a lesbian correctly tbh

You know what?? Protecting women and making them laugh is what lesbianism is about 

I want to… how do you say… kiss a girl

being attracted to girls is so difficult because its not like boys where i occasionally see one worth looking at. all girls are so pretty. i cant leave the house because i am constantly being attacked from all angles. every time i turn my head there is another angel blocking my path. im trapped, i cant escape but at the same time im not sure i want to….

“being bisexual increases your dating pool!” two times zero is still zero, buddy

september will be kind. september will be magical. september will bring the missing energy. september will be working towards our goals and self. september will be a month full of growth.

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

Rare video footage of a tall child discussing diner antics in the wild