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the Zany Marines, whose rubber chickens have proven to be totally ineffective on the field of battle. every time one of them gets hit by a zapper beam it just leaves them covered in soot and blinking though, so they're actually pretty good at stalemating

the Bitty Boys, who stand all of 5'2" in their armor but are as cheerful, well-scrubbed, and brutally repressive as the best of them

the Stupid Marines, whose nickname is mega unfair and they only got called that because Stoney messed up and thought Hawaii was a type of soda on a social studies quiz one time. they mostly just get Cs, except in Mr. Terwhilicker's class because he's totally got it out for them even though it's him being a huge barfbag half the time. which sucks because yesterday in homeroom Derek was trying to shoot a plasma spitball at Stoney but he missed and it went sailing across the room and landed squarely on Mr. Terwhilicker's big old forehead. well yep, you guessed it, ALL the Stupid Marines got detention, and now they're gonna be spending Friday night picking up trash. which you KNOW Mr. Terwhilicker did on purpose because Friday night is the Spacey Hawkins dance