All Hail the Muffin Gods

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

As a Native Hawaiian, 1) I thought this happened everywhere, 2) ofc we can levitate coconut milk

great job everyone lets hit the showers

Not again

World Heritage Post

benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start to receive marketing from the creepypasta universe

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

surely the conses wont quence

the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

“are they lovers?” worse. they were supposed to be and never got the chance to

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here