Mrs.Morpheus

You can't have negative thoughts if your only two brain cells are dedicated to doing your job and loving your wife.

The human eye only has three types of color sensitive cones, which detect red, blue, and green light. Your brain is making up every other color you perceive.

Let’s have a little fun with that thought. This is the visible spectrum of light.

You will of course note that yellow is on the chart. Yellow has a discreet wavelength, and is therefore a distinct physical color. But we can’t see it.

“Sorry, what the fuck?”

What we call yellow is just what our brain shrugs and spits out when our red and green cones are equally stimulated. We have light receptors that can pick up on the physical spectrum of light we call yellow: that’s why yellow things don’t just look like moving black blocks to us. But your brain has no fucking idea what the color yellow looks like. 

Some animals have eyes that can perceive the color yellow! Goldfish have a yellow cone in their eyes. If they could talk, they could tell us what yellow looks like. But we wouldn’t be able to understand it.

What your brain actually sees of the color spectrum:

We can measure the wavelength of light, so we know that when we see ‘yellow,’ we are seeing light in that 550-ish nanometers range. But we don’t have a cone in our eyes that can pick that up. Your brain just has a very consistent guess about what color that wavelength of light could be. We decided to name that guess ‘yellow.’ We can’t imagine what yellow really looks like any more than a dog can imagine the color red.

Here’s the funny thing: your brain is never perceiving just one photon of light at a time. Something like 2*10⁸ photons per second are hitting your retina under normal conditions. Your brain doesn’t individually process all of them. So it averages them out. It grabs a bunch of photons all coming from the same direction, with the same pattern, and goes, “yeah, that cup is blue, fuck it, next.”

That’s how colors blend in our eyes. So sure, if a photon of light with a wavelength of 550 nanometers bounces into our eyes, we see what we call “yellow.” But if we see two photons at the same time, coming from the same object, one of which is 500 nms and the other of which is 600 nms, your brain will average them out and you will still see yellow even though none of the light you just saw was 550 nms.

So how does magenta factor into this?

Well, as we’ve just established, when your brain sees light from two different slices of the visible light spectrum, it will try to just average them together. Green plus red is yellow, fuck it. If it’s more red than green, we’ll call that ‘orange.’ Literally who gives a shit, we’re trying to forage over here. There are bears out here and it’s so scary.

What happens if you take the average of blue and red light, which we perceive to be magenta? What’s the centerpoint of that line?

Fucking green.

Hey, that’s not gonna work? We live on a planet where EVERYTHING IS GREEN. If something is NOT green, that means it’s either food, or a potential source of danger, and either way your brain wants you to know about it.

So your brain goes, WHOOPS. Okay - this is fine. We already made up yellow, orange, cyan, and violet. We’ll just make up another color. Something that looks really, really different from green. 

And so it made up magenta.

So, physics-wise, is magenta “real?”

No; there’s no single wavelength of light that corresponds to magenta. But you’re rarely seeing only a single wavelength of light anyway. And even when you are, every color other than RGB is a dart thrown on the wall by your meat computer. This is the CIE Chromaticity Diagram:

Explaining this thing is a little more than I want to take on on a Saturday morning, but I’ve included a link above that goes into it a little more. The point is that only the colors that actually touch the ‘outline’ of the shape actually correspond to a specific wavelength of light. All of the other colors are blends of multiple wavelengths. So magenta isn’t special.

Given that color is just a fun trick your brain is playing on you to help you find food and avoid danger, is magenta real?

Yeah, absolutely. Or at least, it’s just as real as most of what we see. It’s what we see when we mix up blue and red. It would be disastrous from a survival standpoint to perceive that color as green, so we don’t. Because it’s not green. Light that’s green has a wavelength of around 510 nm. Stuff that’s magenta bounces back light that is both ~400 and ~700. Your brain knows the difference. So it fills in the gap for you, with the best guess it has, same as it does with your blind spot.

Yall.

I saw a video of a woman with extremely thick hair doing a thinning method at home. One comment said "my hairdresser heart weeps" because apparently her method may lead to frizz and impact a unified hair look. The woman had so much hair it was giving her headaches.

Its the same as people telling me when I had long hair never to cut it because its so impressive. Its people telling natural redheads never to dye their hair because its such a rare pretty colour.

Its transmasc people being told they were so pretty as a girl and are wasting that.

Its girls being told they are wasting their figure/physical attributes because they are not displaying them constantly and wearing comfortable baggy clothes.

It's people telling you to never go in the sun, not smile and not to use a straw because it will give you wrinkles. Its being told not to eat certain foods because they are bad for your skin, or to do eat other foods because they are good for your skin regardless of whether you enjoy either of those foods. It's being expected to put hours into your skin care and prioritise it over activities you enjoy so you have younger looking skin when you are old.

It's being expected to wear clothes that are uncomfortable because they make you look thinner/more like an hourglass. Not to move in certain ways because it will be unflattering.

It's telling people not to prioritise themselves and their interests in their decisions but instead to prioritise their skin/hair/figure/etc.

I did not agree to preserve whatever natural features i was born with like a one man historical society for myself just because i happened to be made of those genes. I have every right to use and enjoy my body in ways other people don't think fitting and that don't preserve features that currently fit societal beauty standards. I do not agree to hold aesthetic pursuit over comfort and health and happiness.

My favorite part of this joke was telling it to my mom and gramma.

They both laughed.

Then my gramma paused and asked why it was a gay bar.

My mom explained bears in the gay context.

And gramma laughed harder.

Mom was curious why she laughed if she didn't know what a bear was.

Gramma explained the [exit pursued by bear] play joke, which mom didn't know was a play reference.

Mom laughed harder.

All the while I'm cracking up because I love this joke for both the Shakespeare joke and the gay bar joke, and these two finding it funny even though they only knew half of the joke (and opposite halves).

Also we never really see him do any really impressive firebending apart from when he has magic comet power, I guesss he shoots some lightning at Zuko, but that’s it and Azula is still better at the lightning thing. Azula has blue flames. Zuko can do firebreakdancing and bend with his swords. Does Ozai, who is not 14 years old, have blue flames? No he doesn’t.

He didn’t even do his coup himself, Ursa had to kill Azulon for him! Could have just challenged Iroh to an Agni Kai for the throne but he didn’t bc he knew he’d lose.

And then he only ruled for like 6 years! He lost a war that had been going on for 100 years bc of a bunch of kids.

Jonathan: Well it’s always good to know the signs of someone being a vampire. But truly I wanted you to read it because you’re getting closer to an age where a woman might become a large part of your life.

If you’re not willing to damn your soul to hell and cut a vampire’s throat for her, she’s not the one son.

Always propose in private

It helps to be friendly with your beloved's parents

If rejected, withdraw gracefully

(probably don't ask if she's likely to change her mind later)

It is however okay to stay friends, give her your blood, avenge her death, etc

Good date ideas: going to the pops, boating, tennis, long walks with cows, graverobbing, visiting tea shops, strolling, admiring pretty girls, donating blood, riding, travel abroad, reading each other's diaries (with permission), telling cowboy stories, collating documents

Bad date ideas: psychoanalysis, forced imprisonment, funerals

If they won't respect your privacy, get out. Via the window if necessary

Do not attempt to kiss a guy just because he is passed out on your couch. Especially if he already belongs to your roommate

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER

Corollary: a good partner would rather help you thrive than see you smile. If something is wrong, tell them - don't hide it for their sake

Watching someone sleep is deeply intimate

Never get jealous

Consider marrying three people at once (but only if you love them)

Corollary: just because someone loves you doesn't mean you have to love them back. It's fine. If they really love you they'll respect that

It is okay and in fact encouraged to hold hands in public, no matter what people will say

Everyday acts of kindness show that you care: a cup of tea, a new typewriter, a liter of your blood

Exchange letters while you are apart. Store up experiences to share when you get back together

Support each other's interests and be useful to each other's endeavors

Never bite someone without asking permission first. Mind control does not count as permission. Neither does threatening to beat their husband's brains in.

Maybe women should propose

Whenever you part, write down a heartfelt goodbye. Just in case you die.

You don't need to read their letters. If you can't trust each other, you shouldn't be together

Involve your partner in your end-of-life decisions

Don't abandon your partner even if they become disabled, mentally ill, or rejected by God

It's okay to kiss in front of your friends

Be happy to hear people praise your partner all day

You don't need to be voluptuous - your natural beauty is enough

Garlic flowers are not romantic, but sometimes they are practical, and practical gifts are romantic

Don't shoot into a room where all your friends are sitting. I know this is not specifically dating advice, but really just don't

Sitting down on your hat is not cool

Neck biting hot af (mind control less so)

Make sure your partner remembers to sleep and practice basic self care

Respect your partner by remembering to sleep and practicing basic self care

Seriously hold hands whenever possible

And, once more, C O M M U N I C A T E

He’ll grow into it.

Here's a list of important notes for tumblr usage:

Don't censor words, particularly trigger warnings. Tumblr has a very functional blacklist (found in your settings) that can filter by post content and/or tags. But the word needs to actually be present for the filter to work. Censoring words like r*pe is actively harmful to people attempting to avoid those topics.

Use tags liberally, you have as many as you want, but don't tag unrelated shit. You'll get reported for spam really fast if you do.

Set an avatar and reblog things, otherwise you look like a bot.

You are not obligated to have your real name anywhere in your blog/bio/etc. Most people here use handles.

You can turn your ask box & anons on or off if you are experiencing any kind of harassment. You can also turn off replies on your posts, and turn off reblogs if you need to.

Tumblr has keyboard shortcuts on desktop. You can find them listed under the blog/account menu. Go learn them, they make life so much easier.

Reblog things. Seriously. Also set your dash in chronological order. You can maintain several blogs if need be, but reblogging things is normal, expected, and how you pass along stuff you enjoy.

The majority of people aren't reading your card/dni/blog bio before they reblog stuff. Posts get passed around and the OP often isn't the focal point of the post. Learn to live with it.

Fic writers: you have unlimited words, do not post fics as images.

Reblogs with comments/tags are encouraged. It's not like twitter's QRTs. The OP will see everything there. Know that before you comment.

You have a queue. This means you can set posts up ahead of time to run while you're busy. You can also completely ignore this and just spam your follows whenever you're online. Both are very commonplace

It's not weird to go through someone's blog and reblog old posts. That's actually very normal. If you add /chrono to the end of a tumblr page then you can view all the posts in chronological order to make this easier.

"Spam" liking and reblogging isn't a thing that is a problem. This is invented by people I do not understand. If someone claims this is a problem, they can learn how to turn off or manage their notifications.

The only form of promotional posts that tumblr has is "blaze". There is no ad targeting or any kind of invasions of privacy with blaze. You just get subjected to w/e someone wants to show you. If you want to give tumblr some money to help the company keep going and providing an alternative to twitter, it's not a bad way to do it. You can make people look at cat photos.

Also, we have fun colors here. Plus actual formatting ability. Use it!

People lie on here for fun. Don't accept everything you see at face value, check the reblogs/replies or google something if you're skeptical! Critical thinking is good!