An Assortment™

reading vague posts about some unhinged discourse occurring far from my realm of exposure is like the platonic opposite of "I saw Goody Proctor at the Devil's Sacrament" like damn clearly i was not at the sacrament what the fuck

Why mentos???

Because it's the Fresh Maker

This truly was made for people old enough to remember these references

it is safe to drink lava also it is so so tasty

i am 6 years old and i see this. thank you internet stranger i am going to go do this

Place your bets... would hate for you to miss out on such a momentous occasion...

Sometimes I wish I had the confidence of an online polyamorous white genxer from the Pacific Northwest who just got a new crystal necklace and is using it as an excuse to post a tit pic to a chorus of praise from excitable bearded pagans & bisexual barnes and noble employees who do burlesque

I love reading this each time I see it it’s like the golden ratio of words

PLEASE stay on the line. PLEAEAAASEEE stick around. p-pwease keep holding, on the phone. your call is important to us. please hold. please keep holding. hold yourself. hold my hand

[playing the worst, crunchiest, most incoherent piano music you've ever heard]

pre covid you could make a room of freshmen laugh with a video of griffin mcelroy sayin todd howard repeatedly. now you gotta kill someone. You have to kill someone.

Artists should retreat from the world wide web and go back to gathering in salons and drinking absinthe

I want everyone to know that there are queers in the hollers of Appalachia, in the bayous and marshland of the Deep South, in Southwestern deserts, through the Ozark mountains and up to the Rockies. There are queers in the Great Plains, there are queers in rural America, in trailer parks of the Osage foothills. In the places you least expect us to live, we are here, carving out community and fighting for liberation with pride despite it all. Stop forgetting about us. Stop overlooking our experiences and our impact just because we don’t live in a Big Gay City. And for the love of God, stop looking at us with pity.

And that redneck was a better ally than most people online

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

remember when writers had to be all like: “omg omg lemon starts HERE” y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set

god those were lawless times.