Take me away, boys

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

"I asked chatgpt-" well I asked Lady Catherine de Bourgh and she condescended to advise me on the arrangement of my humble abode.

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

the bad thing about having unhealthy habits due to mental illness, is when you DO do something healthy style you can't brag about about it because then people will then know you've been doing it yucky style all along. Like you can't brag you changed your sheets or brushed your teeth because then ppl will be like oh did you not brush your teeth regularly before? Thats yucky disgusting! So you just gotta keep it to yourself. And be proud alone, I suppose.

“what time is it” you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy”

what mouse walks on two legs

mickey

okay, what duck walks on two legs?

donald

no, all of them.

this is the last time you make a fool of me in my own house god damnit

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

they call it amtrak because the trains am on the trak

but do you REALLY have scurvy? don’t you think you’re just feeling a little lemoncholy?

cannibal chappell roan: you can put a hundred boys in jars

vehicular manslaughter chappell roan: you can hit a hundred boys with cars

medieval torturer chappell roan: you can coat a hundred boys in tar

advertising lemonade is pointless. the human body already knows it needs it

cats know keyboard shortcuts even microsoft doesnt know about

A milli

problematic sudoku solving skills gap