Call me Squishy

#how long have we been holding on to this one?

I held onto this for six whole months. It was soooo hard waiting.

Please send any positive thoughts and feelings you can spare towards the vagina I’m getting tomorrow 🥹

Wishing you a healthy surgery and quick recovery. I'm very excited for you!

hey. do cry. I went to Wanting To Fuck You island and there were no bitches

why were you at Wanting To Fuck Me island 🥺

Y'all for real please do these. Even if you're certain your posture doesn't suck. One day you will wake up with impinged shoulder pain like I did and let me tell you it fucking HURTS. Do these exercises even just once a week and it will make such a difference. Especially my fellow creatives out there, stop shrimping over your work and go do these right now. RIGHT NOW.

Also, if you’re even a little concerned about getting a hump or having trouble standing fully upright in your old age, this is how you prevent that. If you want to be up and about when you’re old you have to start when you’re younger. And keep in mind there is no bad time to start and it’s never too late. Starting today is way better than never starting at all.

@ominous-signs

Official ominous sign(s)

Someone in my apartment complex is playing the bagpipes at bagpipes volume

I feel like there’s literally no stronger swear word than when a girl in bonnet in a movie says something like, “But Lady Snapplecap says I cannot until I come of age!” and a dude wearing pants tucked into his boots and an open shirt replies, “DAMN Lady Snapplecap!” with the force of 435 F-bombs