Crossbell Crustacean

I was telling my dad about how there are always hermits in Arthurian stories, just, you're out on a quest and you need directions or to recover from a wound so you look for the nearest hermit because there's usually one around. My Dad said "Like gas stations" and I have not been the same since

I need dick on a new level never before seen

are you prepared to handle metaphysical cock from a bear 6 cuils removed from his own body?

I can handle cock at ANY level of abstraction.

are you reading tumblr on an ancient tome?

not impordant right now

What the fuck is that

in the tradition of outcast (2014), dragon blade (2015), and the great wall (2016), we need a movie set in the 1630s where a disillusioned member of the embroidered uniform guard and a profit-driven jianghu mercenary flee the corrupt and crumbling ming dynasty and somehow end up in the equally corrupt city of cologne, where they become key players in the fight against the sinister forces of cardinal richelieu and eventually secure the peace of westphalia and the end of the thirty years’ war. this is a million dollar idea i’m telling you

i really do love this concept. the protagonist is like i’m sick of dealing with wei zhongxian’s shit, i’m gonna go someplace where people are holy and don’t even know how to act like this (the impression of europe he got from the jesuit missionary he had a tactical lunch with once), and so he travels 5000 miles and as soon as he stops to catch his breath he runs into cardinal fucking richelieu, the european wei zhongxian

STOP REBLOGGING I MEAN MUTUALS

put that old man in a situation

FUCK yes everybody go home this post is about him now

Remember to let something you have no control over ruin your day today

But I can control anything I just need to work harder and be better.

my mother still does this