Crossbell Crustacean

probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me was when this one time i was wearing my shirt that says "I HATE PAGANS" in giant block letters that i wear to the ren faire so that gay people don't try to involve me in their roleplays or whatever and i somehow thru a series of events that i will omit bc it's boring & i don't understand it encountered some kind of temporal rift and ended up in a roman forum in like the 390s or something. and immediately these guys in armor are pointing at my shirt & getting very excited bc obviously paganism had just been outlawed in rome, and i'm trying to be like "no no you don't understand" but they don't speak english & i don't speak latin so i'm just gesturing frantically at the shirt and then at myself and doing like a thumbs up motion which i later learned is not a good gesture to make in ancient rome. they're getting increasingly animated and i'm trying to pantomime like "different kind of pagans, future pagans, neopagans" by pointing at the ground (to indicate here/now pagans) and then making a big X with my arms and then pointing at the sky (to indicate future/different pagans) but this apparently makes them think i am doing a bit about how the old gods are pathetic, and they're really into this like slapping their thighs and stuff. anyway they take me to this official-looking building & there's this older guy there who seems important & has better robes than everyone else and through a series of elaborate hand gestures and latin & ingvaeonic cognates i manage to express to him that i am jewish, and in my time there are these different people called also pagans who “stelen” from my “tribe,” and then i see him start to nod and he says something to the guards & i'm like oh good we've achieved understanding and i'm feeling pretty good about this intercultural exchange we're having & then i got stoned. like with rocks.

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

I miss HBO Rome. Augustus but with a Freudian relationship to the women in his life, as a treat. Tobias Menzies typecast in one of his classic stubborn disrespected quasi-idiot roles as Brutus. Writers just saying fuck it and letting Octavia have a lesbian situationship with her great uncles old girlfriend. Atia original wire mother. Vorenus and Pullo who are Just Some Guys constantly getting saved by divine intervention. The show implying that Vorenus is responsible for Caesar’s assassination bc he left his side to go try and kill his wife. Insufferable fuckboy Mark Antony. Unmatched television no one’s doing it like them anymore.

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old