Rage with animal clarity

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

boyfriends and dogs. some of the most contemptible beings on this earth. yet some would try to convince you a "golden retriever boyfriend" is desirable or cute

I sometimes feel that I'm not doing enough with my life, but at least I grew my first two arms significantly before a cactus would have been expected to.

Reblog if you grew your first two arms significantly before a cactus would be expected to

Be sure to give adolescent saguaros a thumbs up to let them know they’re doing a good job.

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

#At this point they're just feeding him prime ministers - via @copiccrow

Hey, Im the train. I decided it would be fun to stop moving for an undisclosed amount of time just before we arrive at the station. My idea..

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull

Forbidden nesquik 

why in God’s name was it necessary for so many people to clarify that a dirty bag of blood from the gardening section isn’t safe to eat like what fucked up tumblr subculture has my shitpost reached

probably the horny vampires

They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket

the strongest bond is probably pad wings to themselves. the weakest is probably pad wings to your underwear

the guy who makes the adhesive for pads should really swap jobs with the guy who makes the adhesive for pads