Winter and Beyond

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

And it's gonna getcha

You'll understand much when you understand that politics is war. Von Clausewitz said that war is politics by other means, and the reverse is equally true. Think on this.

Concept: cursed blade rehabilitation center. Destroying a sentient weapon is expensive and highly unethical, so adventurers bring them to the center where highly trained staff can care for them and eventually find them forever homes. It turns out most cursed weapons are products of trauma and are not strictly evil themselves. Some blades turn out to be fiercely protective companions. Others don't even want to be weapons at all, finding joy in simple work like blacksmithing or farming. Most blades just need to be loved.

A pack of bandits descend upon a seemingly undefended town. But the blacksmith's hammer, the farmer's scythe, the woodsman's axe, they have not forgotten what they once were, and they *will* defend the town that they have come to love.

This sweet girl has been with us for seven seasons. She was forged in the heart of a volcano and would be ideal for anyone with a preexisting fire affinity (she's a cuddler and is guaranteed to keep you warm in winter). She still loves burning, but it turns out you can only reduce the world to ash once. She would be perfectly suited for forest management that regularly requires controlled burns.

This weary old soul has grown tired of bloodshed and would much rather spend his days as an ominous decoration in a tavern or common room, a perfect fit for an adventurer looking to leave their dungeon crawling days behind. He likes peoplewatching with his single glowing eye, preferably from high, prominent locations with views of entrances and exits.

While it's fair to say that most rehabilitated weapons are not recommended for first-time wielders, this +2 Defiling Dancing Greatsword might be an exception that proves the rule! Once tempered in the blood of orphans, Greta has had a past that she's sought to grow beyond, and is eager to take a more proactive role in protecting her future lifetime companions. We're looking to find her a forever home with a group of young, earnest adventurers or a single child destined to thwart the legions of evil darkness, where Greta's protective and motherly instincts can really do good and fulfilling work.

For experienced swordbearers only! Lady is a 6-foot zweihander with severe abandonment issues after a previous wielder died in the lowest level of the Lich King's least-favorite summer crypt, where Lady went undiscovered for nearly 300 years. She is looking for a forever home where she can always be close at hand to her person. While she doesn't mind mowing down the odd bandit gang, she has taken surprisingly well to ornamental hedge trimming, and enjoys observing tai chi.

Ha! I have that same tiny amp!

now, pecker means penis. and wood means boner. so of course you would make assumptions about the term woodpecker. but no. the bird

Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.

All gays will go to hellsite

What if in hellsite but not gay

NO!

the "Turn everyone into rodents now" act, as well as its proponents, have been ratified

Mr. Collins would be such a fan of ai. He would love it. He would have it write scripts for him to use for complimenting people. He'd ask it what to do in social situations and then when someone would tell him "I think that's a bad idea" he'd be like "my dear madam it's so good of you to be concerned but I think the highly esteemed Grok knows a little more about this than a lady like yourself" and then he'd go humiliate himself publicly.

Plz tell me you took him home and have a new per gengar.

i'm not qualified to provide adequate enrichment for a trash gengar also I know for a fact he was recently hit in the face with a bag of dog poop

Update please I am begging you

OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?

Your moral ocd is lying to you and tumblr is lying to you. you do NOT have to reblog any post you dont want to and you dont need to justify it and youre not prejudiced against a certain marginalized group if you dont reblog an Upsetting Post about a Current Issue said group is facing