Just Pure Chaos

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

Given Miss Piggy being who she is I think the sirens are just. Advertising chocolate, jewellery, and luxury goods.

Meanwhile Kermit's back in Ithaca, organizing a talent show/contest to judge the merits of his suitors, only to sabatoge them each night so the next day is a disaster....

Instead of Odysseus' bow, Kermit will marry whatever woman (or pig) can destroy a series of targets with karate chops while singing an aria.

Female characters who are the sole voice of reason <<<<<<< Female characters who think of themselves as the sole voice of reason but who are actually just as insane as those around them

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

This post made my water break

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

WHAT

God, I love this accursed website.

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

Happy July 2nd, 2024, guess Marceline is 7 now

Happy July 2nd, 2025; she’s 8 now (5am for me)

Happy Birthday to my Marceline, 8 years ago today (July 2, 2025) she came into this world five days before her due date to see wtf was so funny 🤣 this post, like many other things, are on a long list of topics to discuss when she’s older lol

Happy 9th Birthday Little Marceline!!! (July 2 2026)

It’s July 2 2026 internet, help me wish a Happy Birthday to my brilliant and beautiful 9 year old, Marceline! I’ve shown her (most of) the comments and she says “thank u internet 😁😁”

THEY MADE CREEPY PASTA

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

this post is like being handed demonic visions of what hyper latex porn looks like in the cars universe

The wildest thing about this whole site is the specificity.

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

I’m sorry MS PAINT????

@tangotekkit

This is what 22 year olds on Tumblr are like

Reblog if you too are a jaded, fagged-out socialite

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"