๐'๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโฆ
๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ โธ Y/N, a student at True Cross Academy and in a committed relationship with the son of Satan, Rin Okumura. But underneath it all Y/N struggles with their mental health, which leads to many sleepless nights. During one of these regular nights Rin is comforting Y/N when they make a promise in a moment of vulnerability.
๐๐๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ โธ Rin Okumura x gn! reader
๐๐๐ ๐ฌ โธ hurt/comfort, Y/N suffering from insomnia, crying, mentions of suicide, Y/N being suicidal, talks about poor mental health, mention of self destructive thoughts, rushed ending
โผ๏ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โผ๏ธ โธ I do not own Blue Exorcist. The anime and manga belong to its rightful owner, Kazue Kato. But I am the sole creator of this fanfic. DO NOT reblog or repost without credit.
I am not a mental health professional, this is purely fiction and do not take it as facts.
The moon shines through your curtains into your dorm room as you keep tossing and turning in your bed. Another sleepless night. Something you have gotten very used to over the last couple of weeks as your mental health has slowly been declining over that time.
After some time of tossing and turning you give up in trying to fall asleep, just accepting that this is going to turn into another one of your sleepless nights. Youโre laying flat on your back, mindlessly staring up at the blank white ceiling of your dorm room.
You grab your phone off of the nightstand and check the time. 1.43 am. Great. You have the entire night ahead of you and you have nothing to do.
Usually youโd have homework to do or a test to study for, so youโd sit up and do that to pass the time. But you didnโt have any upcoming tests nor had your teacher given out any homework that needed to be completed.
And so, youโre left all alone in your bed with nothing but your self destructive thoughts.
It feels like time is passing slower than normal until you hear knocking on your dorm door. You turn your head towards the door, propping yourself up on your elbows. You already know who is on the other side of the door.
You sigh and slowly get out of bed. You slowly walk to your door and open it. On the other side is Rin standing with a sheepish smile and a faint blush on his face.
Even after almost a year of dating, Rin still gets a little awkward and sheepish every time he comes over. Rin is also well aware of your mental health problems and always tries his best to help you as much as he can. You have told him multiple times that he doesnโt have to, but Rin keeps insisting that itโs his duty as your boyfriend to help you.
โHey,โ he says somewhat sheepishly, โThought youโd be up.โ
โWhat are you doing? Itโs late, you should be asleep,โ you tell him, โI can say the same to you,โ the blue haired boy responds. You sigh and let out a small laugh, โCanโt sleep.โ
โYeah, though as much,โ Rin says. โMay I?โ He asks with a small smile and you step aside to let your boyfriend in. After Rin has stepped inside you close the door. The blue haired boy takes your hands and brings you to your bed. He sits down with you. Thereโs a moment of silence, and Rin takes a moment to look at you. He looks and notices how your hair is disheveled and unkept, the bags under your eyes, and how your skin is unusually pale. To Rin, you look sick. โYou should really sleep and take care of yourself,โ says Rin, to which you let out a small chuckle, โItโs easier said than done.โ
You sigh and Rin sighs along with you. Thereโs a long pause before you say, โI just donโt know how long I can keep going,โ your voice shake as you speak.
You feel numb, like youโve been running on autopilot for several weeks straight, and youโre getting tired of it. You just want it all to end. To break this constant downward spiral and let yourself finally be put to rest. But at the same time you donโt want to leave Rin. Heโs helped you so much during the last few weeks, and leaving him feels cruel. But the facade you have built up is slowly breaking in front of your boyfriend.
Tears welling up in your eyes as everything over the last couple of weeks finally becomes too much. You let out a few sniffles, catching the attention of the boy sitting next to you. Rin looks at you with a surprised expression, and his eyes slightly widened. He blinks a few times, seemingly not knowing what to do. But the boyโs expression quickly changes to one of sympathy. He didnโt want to see you this way. In fact, he hates it.
Rin wants to comfort you, so he moves closer to you and wraps his arms around you. โHey, youโve been doing great so far. Itโs only temporary,โ he says, doing his best to comfort you. You lean into his touch, letting your tears fall freely.
Everything over the last few weeks had become too much and you couldnโt keep it together anymore. Rin just stays there, holding you. He was never really good with comforting people, but heโs trying for your sake.
Rin lets you cry, staining his shirt with your tears. And despite Rin being a bit of a dumbass he knows better than to try and stop your crying. He knows you need to let everything out.
After some time you slightly pull yourself away from him. Tears are still streaming down your face. And in a moment of vulnerability you say;
โI promise,โ you sniffle, โIโll live for you.โ Rinโs eyes widen in surprise at your sudden confession.
โYouโre my reason for leavingโฆ So Iโll tryโฆ Just for youโฆโ
