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@moomin-energy
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how it feels to stop tossing and turning and get up to piss
oh………..
it’s a kitty hurricane.
my mom’s been telling me my entire life she and my dad met at a bar which BOOOO BORING but today she just casually mentions actually she placed a fuckin ad in the newspaper saying she was ‘a single lady ready to meet the one’ and he was the first to call her and they dated over the phone for like three months before they met n she was like “i was already pretty much in love with him because i adored his laugh on the phone” ????? What kinda 90s romcom bullshit
btw the first time they met in person apparently was because my grandpa fuckin uhhh died? and my dad called my mom inconsolable and she went over to console him and literally just kinda ?? never left???? ehakdhskdhskfjdkdh this bitch’s been telling me they very casually met at a bar can you beLEAF no wonder me and my brother were born fuckin drama queens
me: so you placed an ad? in the newspaper? telling men who were interested in fathering children a beautiful woman to call you? like a person advertising property they want to sell?
my mom, pokerfaced: yes that is exactly what i did
me: mom.
mom: it’s not that different from tinder!
me: you know i read a fanfic once where that was the exact plot of how the two characters met. except it was set in the nineteenth century!!!
mom:
mom: bet you thought it was hot
me: NOT THE POINT
apparently. when they had their very first date my dad mentioned his daughter (my sister on his side) and my mom was like :( because she really wanted children and he just patted her hand and was like “don’t worry! we’ll have children of our own.” HDLSHDSKDHDK THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN? ON THEIR FIRST DATE??? HELLO?
me: so dad what did you think about mom’s ad in the newspaper
my dad, curt: it was cool i guess.
me:
me: did you not think it was weird at all? why did you call her specifically and not anyone else?
dad: no it was common back then. idk i liked the font she chose for the ad
my mom, from the kitchen: it was standard issue from the paper for the ads to look like that
dad: oh… guess it was fate then :)
me:
dad:
mom:
me: did you feel that? did you feel the breeze that just passed?
dad: yeah?
me: that was because mom just melted in the kitchen
mom, from the kitchen, voice clearly a little choked: NO I DID NOT
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my hideous freak monster…
snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean
a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.
I found a lovely snail at work who was dried out so I let him have a shower and he seemed to enjoy it!! 🐌🚿
@rozugold
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contender for funniest line delivery in a porno
I like to do mister Qi borderline evil... and silly :)
This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.
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and if i said nolan's odyssey starring no greek actors and with no recognizable aspects of greek culture or involvement by greeks, is the direct legacy of white supremacist colonialism that treated ancient greece as not just the pinnacle of ancient culture, but of an artificially created "european" culture, which white western europeans and their settler descendants, as the new pinnacle of culture, were the sole spiritual inheritors of.
^^^ PEOPLE ARE STILL THERE. There's a metro station across the street from the colosseum where i found a hair in my pizza slice. We drove by ruins of an amphitheater next to a motorway in greece once. It's literally just real places where real people live and have lived. It's not mythical perfect lands that once existed. I went to Itacha in 2023 and there was not enough parking space.
I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"
