I'm a Moody Bitch

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, weird or stupid. You matter.

what happens if im all 3?

All three??

Really?

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.

It is so fucking funny to me how easily scandalized some people are wym callout post for a cannibalism kink. Grow up. This is the nothingburger leagues and you're throwing up in the stands

It’s actually the peopleburger leagues

Blocking for being funnier than me

candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app