tulip

i kinda get it when dogs let out those big fucking sighs randomly. you gotta try it its very nice. just a big ole sigh.

hate when i get a password wrong and the browser goes "heyyyy :) do you want me to save those credentials you entered :)" like i am already humiliated why must you rub salt into that wound firefox

At this point in think that D&D has more ardent support than lutheranism. And it's adherents are somehow even more annoying.

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST WAY TO FUMBLE SOMEONE

I hate that the "x reader" or "x Y/N" style of fanfic has become sooooo popular, partially because it's just not for me and partially because they clog general non-fic related tags and those authors seem allergic to the "read more" function on this website, but ALSO because I believe that you should have to go through the trouble of creating an absolutely batshit self-insert character, with a backstory that makes no sense and a name that doesn't really gel with the aesthetics of the universe. Legolas and Aragorn should be in a love triangle with Kylie, the angsty sixteen year old half-human half-elf and inexplicable tenth member of the Fellowship. Do the WORK. If everyone was doing "Y/N" nonsense back in the day, there would be no Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, or probably Bella Swan. These are important women. They deserve to be named, confusingly and with no regard for the fictional world they inhabit.

if you complete one task off your to do list you should be allowed 3 days of chilling afterwards as a reward

Remember when you could look things up online. Do you remember how we used to search

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror

now, pecker means penis. and wood means boner. so of course you would make assumptions about the term woodpecker. but no. the bird

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

Watching mad max fury road and my mom said "I would just kill myself I'm not doing any of this shit"