Love Me Tender

sorry I say weird shit sometimes I’m just so excited to be alive

i hate when family comes over and theyre like how’s the job going. how’s the education going. and i’m just like don’t talk to me unless it’s about the Show i just watched

*flight intercom* this is your captain speakinf. googoo gaga babay bububugbggh huegy oo gaga googy bboobobobaba *plane rapidly descending*

*wizard intercom* hello passengers—it’s the wizard again. guess who i just de-aged 36 and a half years

the gordon ramsey failing to understand the concept of death tweet is really one of the funniest things every created on this earth

lacing my blood with poison so when those mosquitoes try to drink from me theyll be in for a nasty surprise

huh. guys i feel a little funny

i’m like the joker in the sense that i tell jokes sometimes

i’m like the riddler in the sense that i tell riddles sometimes

i don’t have much in common with the penguin

the fact that “puss” was just slang for “face” at the time doesn’t even make it better because Shaggy still pointed right at Frankenstein’s wife standing right there and loudly called her not just ugly, but ugly enough to be humorous to him

shaggy said booooo we hate your pussy

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

Diogenes driving a mobile home into the symposium to ruin Plato’s day.

"Behold, a van!"

doing my best to beat the sleepyhead allegationzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz