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first, i’m a narcissist and will not read it if it’s not about me

second, I love the feeling of people liking me

I love how Erica went from "nerds are cringe" and repressing her inner nerdiness to "I'm totally a nerd" and we all say THANK YOU DUSTIN for that, she feels comfortable to assume being a nerd because he assumed being a nerd in front of her and showed her that it was not a bad thing, I love that scene in season 3 in the vents when dustin trys to prove her she's a nerd and he says "because I am a nerd" when she asks him why he knows sm about my little pony it's so special to me

look at how nerdy she is I love her sm

✦ pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader ✦ genre: chaotic fluff, modern!avengers ✦ summary: Bucky agrees to do a Reddit AMA. He’s barely five questions in when the internet collectively combusts because of one particular answer.

✦✦✦✦

The Avengers’ PR team had begged, bribed, and borderline blackmailed Bucky Barnes into doing a Reddit AMA.

“Just a few questions,” they said. “Nothing scary,” they said.

Bucky had muttered something about hating cameras, but Sam had waved a box of chicken wings in his face. “Survive it without scaring the internet, and these are yours.”

And here he was.

A webcam balanced on the Tower’s kitchen counter. Sam leaning smugly against the fridge, sipping soda like it was a live show. And Bucky Barnes the Winter Soldier, White Wolf, terrifying ex-assassin hunched over a laptop like he’d just been forced to take a math test.

The first question popped up. Bucky read it aloud, voice flat "What's your workout routine?”

He arched a brow at the screen. “I pick things up. Put ‘em down. Sometimes I throw Sam around for cardio.”

“HEY!” Sam shouted from off-camera.

Reddit comments flew in instantly:

bro he just casually admitted to using falcon as a dumbbell??? bucky barnes invented crossfit confirmed. the mental image of him bench pressing sam has ended me.

Bucky smirked at the corner of his mouth. One question down. Easy.

Next one: What’s your favorite snack?

Bucky leaned closer to the mic like it was a state secret. “Plums.” He paused. “Don’t ask.”

Sam cackled. “You’re so weird, man.”

Reddit lost its mind.

WHY PLUMS??? i don’t know what i expected but it wasn’t that. imagine being so hot that you can just say “plums” and the world swoons.

Bucky scrolled again, frowning as his metal finger tapped the trackpad too hard. “Alright… here’s one. Are you single?”

Sam’s head snapped up. “Oh no. Ohhhh no, don’t you dare—”

But Bucky had already typed, voice calm and steady as he read it aloud “No. Happily taken.”

Silence.

Sam choked on his soda. “Barnes. You absolute menace.”

Reddit detonated.

WHAT. WHO IS SHE. show us the gf, coward!! “HAPPILY TAKEN” i can’t breathe this is better than netflix. he said it like it was obvious??? king behavior.

Bucky blinked at the screen, confused. “What? It asked a question. I answered.”

Sam doubled over, wheezing. “You hard-launched your relationship to millions of Reddit users! No build-up! No soft-launch selfie! Just BAM.”

Meanwhile, across the hall, your phone buzzed nonstop. Natasha’s text "Girl. Check Reddit. NOWWWW."

Your stomach dropped as you opened the thread. And there it was. Bucky’s answer. No. Happily taken.

Your jaw fell open. “Oh my god.”

Back in the kitchen, the chaos only grew.

Someone asked: What’s the best thing you’ve bought in the 21st century? Bucky typed, deadpan: “A coffee maker. She drinks three cups a day.”

WAIT SO HE’S JUST GONNA CASUALLY TALK ABOUT HER??? bucky “simp barnes” barnes is real and he’s thriving. I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE.

Another question: What’s your biggest weakness? Bucky didn’t hesitate. “Her smile.”

Sam threw a dish towel at him. “You’re killing me, man.”

HEEEELP HE DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. someone find this mystery woman IMMEDIATELY. imagine being bucky barnes’ weakness.

Not even halfway through, your door slammed open. Bucky strode in like a man on a mission, hair a little messy from dragging his hands through it.

“You saw it?” he asked.

You crossed your arms. “I saw it. The whole world saw it. Bucky, you basically told Reddit we’re together!”

His brow furrowed. “So?”

“So?! They’re already making memes! They’re digging, they’re speculating, they’re—”

He cut you off, tugging you against his chest with a stubborn set to his jaw. “Doll. I don’t care if they make memes. Let them scream. Let them guess. Only thing that matters is they know I’m yours.”

You melted instantly. Stupid, infuriating, sweet man “God, you’re impossible,” you muttered into his shirt.

“Maybe,” he said, smirking as he kissed your hair. “But I’m impossible for you.”

Of course, Sam chose that exact moment to stroll by, phone in hand. “Reddit’s trending with ‘Bucky’s Mystery Girl.’ You two are officially the internet’s favorite soap opera.”

Bucky ignored him, cupping your face like the world had narrowed down to you alone. “Let ‘em call it whatever they want. As long as they know I’m happy.”

And then he kissed you slow, firm, final while Reddit continued to implode outside your door.

Top Reddit Comments After the AMA:

UPDATE: she exists. she’s real. and he’s IN LOVE. bucky barnes saying “happily taken” ruined my day in the best way possible. i feel like i just witnessed a proposal. i’m crying into my cereal rn. sam wilson laughing in the background deserves an emmy.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ 💌 tagged babies under the cut 💌

he also said that it was incredibly unlikely that sexism will ever be resolved in the medical field. that the majority of medications i will ever take - even some of which are "for women" - will not be clinically tested on my body.

the problem, he said, was in getting any human clinical trial approved. to test on a body with a uterus - any body, even elderly patients or those who have been sterilized - was often nigh-impossible, because the concern was that the test patient may, at any point, become pregnant. once/if the patient became pregnant, the study would not be about "the effects of New Medication on the body." instead, the trial would fail - the results would be "the effects of New Medication on a developing fetus/pregnant patient."

it was massively easier, he said, to just test without accounting for a uterus. that's how he phrased it - accounting for a uterus.

at the time, i remember him talking about the ethical implications of testing on a developing fetus; how such testing could theoretically bankrupt a company if a lawsuit was filed. he talked about informed consent and about how long it took for any legislation to be passed about this - that in 1993; the year i was born, it finally became illegal to outright exclude women and minorities from clinical trials.

i remember him shrugging. "that's not to say it doesn't happen," he said. my ears were ringing.

i was thinking about how every time i have been rushed to the ER, the first thing they have asked me is if i am pregnant. when i broke my wrist at 16 years old - despite never having had sex - they made me wait three hours for the test to come back negative before they gave me pain meds. the possibility of a child haunts my health.

how many people have died on the table because they were waiting for the pregnancy test before treatment. how many people have died on the table because they were pregnant, and the only thing we care about is the fetus.

it is hard to explain to other people, but it feels like some kind of strange ghost. our entire lives, we are supposed to "save" our bodies for our future partners. but really we are just saving the body for the future child, aren't we? that hovering future-almost that cartwheels around in a miasma. you can't get your tubes tied, what if you change your mind? think of the child you must have, eventually.