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@ivystudying

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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9.25.2019
My small perfume collection and a page from my bullet journal.
After all these years on tumblr, I finally figured out how to move around pictures while making this post đ .
20.09.2019
It is finally Friday! Today was a pretty chill day (I only had 3 lectures) so I managed to do lots of bits and pieces in my free time alongside with my homework. I have one lecture tomorrow at 10 am after which I will go home to see my parents (living in a different city on your own is not fun at all). Iâm so glad my third (!!) week at uni is almost over! Time flies
P.S. I took those pictures when I was practicing british pronunciation for my test yesterday (the test was today and I got an A) but I forgot to post them.
03/10/19 (October 03 2019)
Been a long time since my last post :(
Starting early on my assignment so I donât fall behind
Waiting for a phone call to tell me Iâm officially an aunt
Victorious by P!ATD đ§
12.26 hints of red

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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03/10/19 (October 03 2019)
Been a long time since my last post :(
Starting early on my assignment so I donât fall behind
Waiting for a phone call to tell me Iâm officially an aunt
Victorious by P!ATD đ§
nOpe
7.19 new muji stuff n beautiful new tombow grayscale pens :))))
my backpack & uni essentials! i start my first semester next monday & iâm super excited!!!Â
19.09.19
En Anglais, on ne dit pas âquatre vingt dix neufâ, on dit âninety nineâ qu'on pourrait traduire comme âHurr durr, regardez mois, j'ai un système de numĂŠrotation fonctionnelâ et je crois que c'est magnifique.

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09.09.2019 | finally got around to writing my term paper for medieval philosophy
1.10.2019 // tuesday
this month iâll be joining @stu-dna âs october study challenge! hereâs my contribution for the first day ~
1. Introduce thyself! What are you studying? What are your goals for this month? This year?
i am vee, a 19-year-old university student majoring in cultural anthropology! itâs my freshman year in uni and my main goal for the year is to try my hardest to get used to studying in uni and to get a great start for this journey! this month my goal is to stay motivated and persistent with my studies (which i hope this challenge will help me with as well since studyblr is something that really helps with my study motivation)!!
Credit: SaskdrawsÂ
Follow us @anxietyproblemâ

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Ugh. Grad school is such an emotional rollercoaster. Last week I was drowning in self doubt about botched experiments and today a Prof that I admire to a probably unhealthy amount told me that she admires my passion and she thinks that I have what it takes to be a successful researcher and now I oscillate between confidence and peak levels of imposter syndrome within minutes - gosh, how do I handle this?
yall iâm still trying to figure that out and iâve been trapped here for 203985720937 millennia. The mental fortitude necessary to survive in grad school is just.. unreal.Â
I think? what has been working for me are 2 things:
I make sure Grad Student Julia is not all who I am
I try to change my way of thinking by letting the negative moments slide off like teflon, and the positive moments stick like velcro (which is the opposite of how so many of us have been conditioned to want to do)
So first, I make sure I have a life outside of grad school, and that I get my self-worth also from other aspects of my life such as: my friends, family, pets, hobbies, self-care, etc. So being all those thingsâa friend, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a pet mama, an avid reader of books, a blogger, etcâhelps ground me. Like I can have the Worst Day Ever in lab but then I come home to all the other aspects of my life and I can experience firsthand that yeah, being a grad student isnât all there is to my life. My dog donât care Iâm graduating a semester later than I planned; she just loves that I have two hands for belly rubs. My husband doesnât love me less because I screwed up a calculation. That negative reviewer comment doesnât take away my entire bookshelf of books Iâve read in my life. Stuff like that, ya know? Just having a work-life-balance so I am more than a few failed experiments. I am more than a rejection letter. I am more than a missed deadline, or a disappointing review, or an angry PI yelling at me. I am more than just a grad student, and nothing can take that away from me. If I ever had a mantra I repeat every moment of the day, thatâs probably it.Â
And suddenly the constant failures in lab and the comments of disappointment from my PI donât feel as painful. Sure, they still smack me like a raw egg, but the goop slides off faster ya know? Because my self worth comes from multiple pipes; blocking one isnât going to dry this bathtub baby!
Secondly, I try really hard not to dwell too much on negative comments or experiences. I try to think about them only for long enough so I can assess whether I can make any meaningful and realistic changes to my work or myself. So if I mess up an experiment, I try to figure out what went wrong and what I can do better next time so this doesnât happen. Same with negative comments and the like. And I know itâs hard not to replay our mistakes and shortcomings over and over in our minds, especially when times get dark and lonely. I totally get that. I still have bad memories from decades ago pop up every now and then. It happens. But when those moments hit, I find that staying busy (with work or by hanging out with friends, etc) can keep my brain distracted from spiraling into negativity.Â
The other half of this is to latch onto positive comments and experiences and keep them close. Because many of us have been conditioned throughout our life to do just the opposite, I like to have physical reminders to help me, like screenshots or print-outs (like I literally have a print-out of a really encouraging anon message thanking me for helping them pinned to my cubicle at work). My brain canât put me down when I have literal physical proof that I have done good things. And when physical evidence isnât possible (eg. verbal convo), I replay that in my mind over and over. Not to.. obsess over it, but to commit it to memory, to truth, to become a part of who truly am.Â
Other things that may help:
Journaling (or blogging) about your day/inner thoughts
Having a venting-buddy (such as another grad student) where you two meet up regularly for vent sessions
Staying mentally healthy via therapy and/or medication
Staying physically healthy too!Â
Other posts about how to deal with imposter syndrome: 1 | 2 | 3Â
Maintaining a healthy mental fortitude is a learned skill, and just like any other skill, it takes time and practice, but it will happen. You will be ok anon :) You got this! I believe in you, and I think youâre a cool cat even with your botched experiments <3
âit is better to know one book intimately than a hundred superficiallyâ