Non binary Garfield

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

calling the cops on someone you believe is having a psychotic episode to “help them” will never be helpful ever

supermarkets should have benches

everywhere should have benches

One bird in my neighborhood starts chirping at 4am, way earlier than the other birds in my neighborhood. If you think about it, it’s actually really annoying, and it probably pisses off the other birds too, including me, who isn’t even a bird.

You know he gets that worm, tho

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

can i get an amen break burger

I'll probably watch any dog shit for willem dafoe

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

Can they maybe not

you’re prejudiced against new ideas.

"i mean its good? but why is the cast 80% male" and other friendship-ending feminist killjoy observations

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.