Certified Eldritch Dumbass

contrary to popular belief i think calvin's adhd is, funnily enough, medicated. he takes extended release ritalin every morning alongside his chocolate frosted sugar bombs. this is because he appreciates being more easily able to focus on his various Schemes, Projects, and Machinations while more effectively ignoring schoolwork

calvin's dad pulling up to the house and seeing the whole driveway covered in a (completed) snowman recreation of the entire terracotta army and he takes a deep breath and greets calvin's mom with "i see calvin remembered his methylphenidate today"

the thing about fiber art that nobody tells you about is that every single kind of fiber art is a gateway drug to other kinds of fiber art.

isn't it kind of crazy that for any moving vehicle you need to wear a seatbelt but then on buses they're just like fuck it stand up whatever

I’m glad humans evolved to Boop the Snoot for Good Luck.

glowing as though holy

when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

not a female 👍

this is the kind of comradeship we need to start the month off on.

#op its your job to kill that whale