⚧️

i don’t know how people care about sports but it’s okay

it’s really not.

i’m tired of pretending it’s okay. we have to kill them

just saw the phrase "abortionable amount of weeks pregnant"

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

Was made to groove

my man

this fucking girl on bumble sent me like three shy anime girl images and said like “uhmm… hi you seem really cool 😖😖 i’m so nervous” and it fr pissed me off so bad i deleted the app

all the people saying “you fumbled this girl! i want her” how does it feel to be a sucker

oh shit let me guess. let me guess. you're anthony fantano being sucked into a jet engine. yeah. yeah, just like the last four fucking rounds. yeah i don't really wanna play charades with you anymore

Step back everyone. This post requires the delicate touch of an annoying gimmick blog

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then